IELTS essay on working hard submitted to us by LELB Society students for deep analysis and scorning. Join our students and send us your essays for thorough evaluation.
IELTS essay question on working hard
These days, some people in large cities tend to become workaholics by working too hard and paying less attention to the other aspects of their lives.
What could cause workaholism in large societies? What solutions can you propose in order to bring this issue under more control?
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IELTS essay on working hard
It is said in today’s world, people in large cities are dealing with workaholism. They are addicted to working compulsively and having a hard time making time for other aspects of their life, e.g. friends, hobbies, and family.
- Your first paragraph is just limited to some background information.
- Your position to the question is not stated.
The latest research has shown that workaholism is more common in large cities. The reason is simply that people in metropolises are busier with work and society and have less contact with their neighbors and colleagues. They are so busy earning money, and lots of things should be done because the costs and bills are much more in large cities.
- the costs and bills are much more what?
- This is your second paragraph, and you’re not yet proposing any solution.
The next question is how can we avoid and overcome workaholism? Well, the first step is to accept having this issue. The following steps are to give ourselves obligatory breaks, talk to our boss, speak to a specialist, and make time for ourselves. It is hard and challenging for someone who has an addiction to work to let herself/himself a break. They think that there are tasks to be done or that they don’t deserve it, but with the help of others and themselves, it could get better. And if you are working in a company and it is possible for you, you can share your condition with your headmaster or boss. Fingers crossed that they are understanding.
- how we can avoid and overcome
- You should not use contractions in your IELTS essay.
- The sentence starting with “the following steps” is not accurate in terms of cohesion. Thus it’s rather ambiguous and unclear.
- Use more formal words, e.g. boss = manager, speak to = consult with, etc.
- Headmaster is the principal of a school.
If you are finding this too complicated, don’t hesitate to share it with a specialist, although you may find it hard to share your conditions with a psychologist for the first time, don’t let go of the chance. And the final solution is you can just spend time with yourself and your family. Allow yourself to reach the joy of living in the moment.
- You’d better not use contractions in your essay.
- Don’t use compound-complex sentences in your essay.
- Use more formal conjunctions in English.
Working hard and workaholism are one of the most common challenges we are dealing with today, but whenever there is an issue, there will come a solution. With the help of others and first of all ourselves workaholism, like other problems can be solved as well.
- are two of the …
- The phrase, with the help of ourselves, is too general and sometimes unspecific.
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- The first paragraph covers only background information about the topic.
- You’re supposed to use more formal vocabulary. The choice of your words is rather informal.
- Cohesion and coherence: 14 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 14 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 13 of 25%
- Task achievement: 16 of 25%
- Spelling: Good
- Punctuation: Good
- Word Count: “326 Words” Great
- Time on Essay Writing: “40 Min” – Excellent
- Band score: 5.5 of 9
It is said in today’s world, people in large cities are dealing with workaholism. They are addicted to working compulsively and having a hard time making time for other aspects of their life, e.g. friends, hobbies, and family.
The latest research has shown that workaholism is more common in large cities. The reason is simply that people in metropolises are busier with work and society and have less contact with their neighbors and colleagues. They are so busy earning money, and lots of things should be done because the costs and bills are much more in large cities.
The next question is how can we avoid and overcome workaholism? Well, the first step is to accept having this issue. The following steps are to give ourselves obligatory breaks, talk to our boss, speak to a specialist, and make time for ourselves. It is hard and challenging for someone who has an addiction to work to let herself/himself a break. They think that there are tasks to be done or that they don’t deserve it, but with the help of others and themselves, it could get better. And if you are working in a company and it is possible for you, you can share your condition with your headmaster or boss. Fingers crossed that they are understanding.
If you are finding this too complicated, don’t hesitate to share it with a specialist, although you may find it hard to share your conditions with a psychologist for the first time, don’t let go of the chance. And the final solution is you can just spend time with yourself and your family. Allow yourself to reach the joy of living in the moment.
Working hard and workaholism are one of the most common challenges we are dealing with today, but whenever there is an issue, there will come a solution. With the help of others and first of all ourselves workaholism, like other problems can be solved as well.
Time on essay writing: 40 minutes
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