Concrete Production IELTS Writing Task 1
The diagram below illustrates the procedure and equipment deployed in the process of cement production, and how cement is used to produce concrete for construction purposes.
Elaborate on the process of cement and concrete manufacturing as shown in the diagram.
LELB Society’s Student: Mohammad
These two diagrams illustrate the simplified procedure and equipment which are used in the cement plants, and how cement is used to produce concrete.
As we know((This part is redundant because in Task 1, you should only analyze the visual data.)) cement is the most important gradient((ingredient)) of concrete which have being((has been)) a crucial material in the construction((in construction)) for ages, especially in case of the building houses. As the left-hand figure shows there are five main phases in a cement manufacturing plant that should have been taken((that should be taken / completed)) by two raw materials who((which / that)) are limestone and clay to cement become ready((for cement to become ready)) for shipping((It’s better to write: packing because we can see the bags of cement.)). These five steps are crushing, mixing, heating, grinding and packing respectively. First of all, these two components((You need to mention them again as there is a long sentence between this pronoun and its antecedent.)) are broken to small size((crushed into small pieces)) by a crusher. After that the materials go through some important processing equipment where they should blend and experience high temperatures in mixer((the mixer)) and rotating heater respectively before they get ready for final separation((The mixed materials are not separated in the grinder. Instead, they are simply ground in the grinder.)) in grinder((the grinder)) and then the packed cement can be sold.
As the right-hand figure shows, the final production of a cement plant is the one of most important((one of the most important)) gradient((ingredients)) of making concrete process((finalizing the concrete-making process)). Mortar, (concrete that have not gotten hard((has not been hardened)) yet) consist((consists)) of gravel, sand, cement and water in amount of((proportions of)) 50, 25, 15 and 10 percent respectively. These four ingredients should be blended well in a mixer to prepare((to get prepared)) and then it can be used in construction process.
- Visual Data Analysis:
- Choice of Words (Diction): Good
- Coherence: Good
- Cohesion: Average
- Grammar: Below average
- Reasoning: Good
- Word Count: “223” Your report is rather too long. You should use at least 150 words, and the number of words you’ve used is slightly over the expected range.