IELTS Essay on Making Friends for Band 8.5

IELTS Essay on Making Friends

IELTS Essay on Making Friends

Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essayist: hamad Alduaij
I agree that it’s more important to keep old friends than to make new friends. That is the value of a friend greatly depends on how long you’ve known him/her. It may appear to some people that those who continuously make new friends are happier, but in my opinion those people are only a façade of a true friendship.

• Do not use contractions in your essay.
• That is,

True friends are people whom you should be able to rely on in times of need, but developing that kind of relationship requires a lot of time and effort. In my opinion, it’s only possible to allocate that time and effort to a small circle of trusted friends. True friends will be with you in both tough times and easy times, because you’ve found the time to be with them in those times too. On the other hands, if you have many friends which you’ve only spent little time with then you may not find them supportive of you when you need them the most. Therefore, one can argue that 1 true friend who is supportive in times of need is worth 100 new friends that might be absent then.

• Avoid contractions in your essay.
• On the other hand,
• Which is not used for humans as a relative pronoun. Use “that” or “whom” instead.
• 1 :arrow: one

Another way to think about it is that as a person you are less likely to assist someone who didn’t spend time to truly know you as a friend over someone who was dedicated to your friendship. Another aspect is, you may not truly know important things about your friends until you have spent enough time with them. Whether it’s knowledge that will make them feel closer to you or more distant does not matter, but what matters is to know the person enough to know how much they mean to you.
In conclusion, I believe it’s most important to make sure the friends you currently have are true friends who will help and support you, before attempting to create new friendship with uncertain results.

• make / establish / form a new friendship – Create does not generally collocate with “friendship”. Friendship is countable.

Assessment

• Band score = 8.5 of 9
•  Analysis:
  • You have barely elaborated on the counterargument. Your entire essay is basically about one specific aspect. It’s better to discuss both sides and show your position in the end.
• Cohesion and Cohesion (22% of 25%)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (22% of 25%)
• Lexical Resources (24% of 25%)
• Task Achievement (22% of 25%)
• Spelling: Great
• Punctuation: Some improvement is needed.
• Word Count: “314” Excellent!