IELTS essay on prevention is better than cure with full essay and analysis submitted to us by our students and members. Join LELB Society and send us your IELTS essays and reports for scoring and evaluation.
Watch this video on essay on prevention is better than cure
IELTS essay question on prevention is better than cure
Some people believe that prevention of health problems calls for more government funding compared to treatment and medication.
Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons to support your argument.
IELTS essay on prevention is better than cure
It is evident that prevention is better than cure. But this is not the whole case, because prevention and education have always consisted more quota of the government budget than medicine and treatment. Educating a whole nation and several generations is truly a challenge. That is why I believe that advertising and raising awareness toward hygiene and different disease’s preventions bring the government a large amount of money.
- Prevention of what? Repetition of key words, especially in the first paragraph
- consist of
- raise (someone’s) awareness of
- the prevention of different disease
Many people in recent days die of various diseases, e.g. cancer, AIDS, and diabetes and many of them are still not wholly treatable. Now the question that comes to mind is what are these dangerous diseases’ prevention and how many people in society are aware of them and are these preventions and solutions taught at schools and universities? Moreover, what percentage of people truly take them seriously?
- what the preventive measures of these dangerous diseases are (noun clause structure without inversion)
- and if / whether these preventive measures or solutions are taught
- Prevention is mainly uncountable.
All of the answers to the questions in the previous paragraph depend on the government’s investments in awareness and acknowledgment of the people of all kinds of severe infections and illnesses. Imagine a virus epidemic, even the solution and coming up with an idea to prevent and stop the disease’s progression is more challenging than just providing vaccination. Therefore, it is a great responsibility to keep people safe by educating them even though it calls for more funding. In addition, when it comes to good informing and elevating awareness, it means a responsible and qualified government.
- raising / increasing people’s awareness of
- … epidemic. Even … – These are two separate sentences.
- the progression of a disease / diseases
- people’s awareness
- Vaccination is a kind of prevention.
- good informing: not a proper collocation! Inform is a transitive verb and it needs an object.
- The last compound sentence starting with “when it comes to” sounds ambiguous and not easily understandable.
Prevention is better and more helpful than the cure and medication and this is on the government’s shoulders in spite of the high cost, but it cannot be wholly solvable if the people themselves do not take them seriously. Prevention is a mutual collaboration between the government and the people to restrain the number of diseases.
- cure
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- Some parts of the essay are so ambiguous and ungrammatical.
- Cohesion and coherence: 16 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 15 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 18 of 25%
- Task achievement: 17 of 25%
- Spelling: Great
- Punctuation: Good
- Word Count: “287 Words” – Excellent
- Time on Essay Writing: “45 Minutes” – The maximum time you have is 40 minutes.
- Band score: 5.5 of 9
It is evident that prevention is better than cure. But this is not the whole case, because prevention and education have always consisted more quota of the government budget than medicine and treatment. Educating a whole nation and several generations is truly a challenge. That is why I believe that advertising and raising awareness toward hygiene and different disease’s preventions bring the government a large amount of money.
Many people in recent days die of various diseases, e.g. cancer, AIDS, and diabetes and many of them are still not wholly treatable. Now the question that comes to mind is what are these dangerous diseases’ prevention and how many people in society are aware of them and are these preventions and solutions taught at schools and universities? Moreover, what percentage of people truly take them seriously?
All of the answers to the questions in the previous paragraph depend on the government’s investments in awareness and acknowledgment of the people of all kinds of severe infections and illnesses. Imagine a virus epidemic, even the solution and coming up with an idea to prevent and stop the disease’s progression is more challenging than just providing vaccination. Therefore, it is a great responsibility to keep people safe by educating them even though it calls for more funding. In addition, when it comes to good informing and elevating awareness, it means a responsible and qualified government.
Prevention is better and more helpful than the cure and medication and this is on the government’s shoulders in spite of the high cost, but it cannot be wholly solvable if the people themselves do not take them seriously. Prevention is a mutual collaboration between the government and the people to restrain the number of diseases.
Time on writing: 45 mins.
Thank you for sending your IELTS essay to us for analysis. It will be evaluated before your next online class.