IELTS Writing Task 2 Immigration Issues

IELTS Writing Task 2 Immigration Issues

? Topic:

These days, many people try to enter developed countries illegally in search of better job positions and standards of living.
Why do you think the rate of illegal immigration is so high nowadays?

? Essayist: Sayeh

A wide range of ideas has been put forward regarding this topic.((Consider a space among sentences.))Illegal immigration is criminal act((a criminal act)) that is committed by some one((someone)) who enters into a nation((enters a nation)) of which they are not a citizen in the land .((in the land.)) While illegal immigration occurs in most countries((countries, – it’s better to use a comma here)) the biggest illegal are curing((a significant proportion of illegal immigration occurs)) in America and Europe. Many factors lie into foundations((lay the foundation)) of this subject .((Full stop is attached to the last word of the sentence.))However it all comes down to 2 basic reasons which are human trafficking as well as to find((as well as finding)) more job opportunities.

First of all, one of the primary reasons underling this((illegal immigration – you should repeat the key words)) is that((omit “that”)) human trafficking. Human trafficking is an action or practice of illegal transporting people from one county or area to another, typically for the purposes of forced labor or commercial sexual exploitation.((Consider a space among sentences.))In fact many people are a victim((victims)) of human trafficking. In the other words((in other words)) human trafficking is the trade of humans for getting of money((getting / obtaining money)) for smuggling .((Full stop should be attached to the last word of any sentence.))

In addition, another essential element to be considered is that people immigration illegally((illegal immigrants)) want to find a proper job which they could not get it((Omit “it” because you have already explained about it)). Having good and safe job((jobs)) is extremely important for everybody in their life.((A space among sentences))To illustrate this point Los Angeles is the one of the biggest city((one of the biggest cities)) of America where some people live((leave their hometowns)) to immigrate there and they have job((jobs)) illegally.

One the other hand((On the other hand)), some opponent((opponents)) of the ideas above may claim that,((no comma is required)) illegal immigration is only way((the only way)) for grope((groups) of people who are poor and have not enough money. Although this way has high risk percent((represents a high percentage of risk)) some people accept risk((the risk / this risk)) and taste this way((take this way / direction)).

To sum up, the out come((outcome)) to be derived from all these facts is that, illegal immigration is a crime activity((criminal activity)) may((which / that may – use a relative clause)) be for buying and selling people or making money from that. As well as is an illegal act((as well as an illegal act – do not an independent sentence with “as well as”)) that has not good of end((that does not have good ends)).

✅ Assessment:

Coherence: Good
Cohesion: Needs improvement
Grammar: Needs improvement
Reasoning: Good
Essay Analysis: Good
Word Count: “308” Great!

General Information

The Academic Writing test takes 60 minutes. It consists of two tasks. The recommended time for each task is: 20 minutes on Task 1, and 40 minutes on Task 2. Between the two tasks of your Academic Writing Test, you are free to start from the one you like.
Your essay should include at least 250 words.
In this task, your ability to respond to a topic, generate relevant ideas, outline problems and offer solutions to the problems based on your experience and reasoning is measured.
IELTS Writing Task 2 falls into the category of argumentative essays.
IELTS Writing Task 2, compared to IELTS Writing Task 1, carries more weight in scoring.
Your reader is an educated person with only general knowledge of the topic.

IELTS Writing Task 2 Immigration Issues