Sports Events IELTS Writing Task 2 with Correction

IELTS Writing Task 2 LELB Society

 

Sports Events IELTS Writing Task 2

Many countries believe that hosting brings so many advantages for the host countries. Nevertheless, some other countries maintain that playing host to has more disadvantages than advantages.

Discuss both views and express your own opinions.


Essayist: Sasan

Today, playing host to international sports events is the desire of some countries because they believe some benefits can((It’s better to use “could” instead of “can” because of “believe”.)) be reaped from that. However, some maintain that the demerits of hosting such events overtake its merits. I personally concur with the first group.

First and foremost, hosting international events((You should narrow down the area of your focus to sports events.)) leads to raising the profile of the country. That is an opportunity for the country to gain international acceptance and get known by many people worldwide. As a result, the country can attract more tourists. Moreover, hosting an event((You need to be genuinely specific. We’re concerned with sports events in this essay.)) can create some job opportunities in the city and it can revitalize market in some depressed cities((You can rewrite it in this way: … can create some job opportunities in cities, revitalizing the market in some depressed areas…)) at least for a period of time. Furthermore, the government has to invest on((invest in)) the infrastructure of the city in order to make it ready for hosting the event. What is more, there is a perfect atmosphere for advertisement in that country during the event. So, there are many advantages to play host to an international event((It must be in conjunction with sports events.)).

Nonetheless, some claim that there are disadvantages that come from hosting an international event. For instance, the city becomes crowded and noisy for a period of time and deteriorates((and it deteriorates)) the living standard of dwellers((the dwellers, because this word is now definite to us)). Also, the government has to tighten the security of the city which increases the costs. However, I surmise that the pluses of hosting an international event outweigh its minuses.

To sum up, like some countries, it seems to me that playing host to an international event brings about advantages even though some disagree with this viewpoint.


Assessment:

  • Coherence: Good
  • Cohesion: Great
  • Grammar: Great
  • Reasoning: Above average
  • Essay Analysis:
    • You did not pay attention to the keyword “international sports events”, e.g. . As a consequence, your essay seems to be unspecific and rather off the track.
  • Word Count: “252” Great!

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