Cigarette Smoking | An IELTS Essay Sample

Cigarette Smoking | An IELTS Essay Sample

Cigarette Smoking | An IELTS Essay Sample

Topic:

Smokers have rights, too. So, they should be allowed to smoke in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The Essay Written by LELB Students

I personally believe smoking in public places should be banned completely. It is proved that passive smoking is worse than smoking and it is not fair that one person harms public health. Also, smoking is a leading cause of many illnesses such as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and so on. Moreover, the prohibition of smoking in public places could decrease the consumption of smoking, on average. A university professor would smoke lower if he/she was confronted with limitations to smoking in the university. Another point which merits consideration is that when a person smokes in public places, a lack of respect would be felt by others and this behavior is injurious to the society.

Error Correction:

  • Line 2: leading is not a proper adjective for cause. Generally, it has a positive interpretation (best, most important). I suppose you could use: underlying, major, chief, etc. for ’cause’.
  • Line 4: consumption of smoking ➡ tobacco / cigarette consumption
  • Line 4: would smoke lower ➡ would smoke less frequently
  • You have used an insufficient number of words. As a single essayist, you must use at least 250 words in your essay.
  • Your essay must have an independent introductory paragraph together with supporting and concluding paragraphs, which is not the case here.

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