IELTS essay on banning smoking in public places with full essay and thorough evaluation together with scoring submitted to us by one of our members at LELB Society. You can also join LELB Society and submit your IELTS and TOEFL essays for analysis.
IELTS essay question on banning smoking in public places
Some people believe that smoking should be banned in public places, particularly where young children, pregnant women and the elderly appear frequently. Some others argue that it is not reasonable to ban smoking in public places.
What is your opinion on banning smoking in public places. Support your argument adequately.
IELTS essay on banning smoking in public places
I think that smoking should be absolutely banned in public places. Smoking has lots of harm for smokers and non-smokers. Studies has shown that the ones near the smoke, are even in more danger. The smoke of the cigarette is poisonous to human’s respiratory system.
- Studies have shown
- the people near smokers
- near the smoke (which smoke? rather ambiguous)
- Do not separate subjects from verbs with commas.
- You’re straightforward, which is absolutely great. However, I think you could add some generation information before mentioning your position to the question. This is called providing a general background before your position or topic sentence.
- You’ve not used any transition or conjunction in your first paragraph. You need to use more cohesive devices and conjunctions.
In public places appear lots of people, and the ones who are in more danger are pregnant women, elder people, children and people with heart disease. Smoke of cigarette can cause them a serious harm.
- It’s literary to put the subject after the verb. => So many people appear / show up
- (recommendation): lots of = a great number of / plenty of (write more formally)
- Harm is uncountable.
- This short paragraph could be used as the background to your topic sentence in your first paragraph.
Children and teenagers can easily copy and emulate and seeing many people in public smoking can put them in dangerous area. They might think that smoking can turn them grown man (especially teenage boys) and want to give it a try, and one time is enough for a long time severe addiction.
- You really need to use more conjunctions. Sentences, and especially paragraphs, should smoothly be connected to each other, and conjunctions and transitions are the best devices for this purpose.
- Copy and emulate are transitive verbs and require objects.
- Public smoking is not a special place or zone, so you cannot use ‘in’ for public smoking. You could say: seeing many people smoke publicly.
- grown-ups
- long-time / long-term
Smoking has lots of harms for smokers themselves too. The risk of heart attack, respiratory diseases, higher risk of getting cancer, lung problem and so many more. Even if by knowing all this impacts of smoking, they still want to smoke, at least not in public places. There are some private places just for smoking. They can use that.
- lung problems
- After ‘even if’ you need to use a clause that has a verb. You could use ‘despite’.
- these impacts
- special places that are called smoking rooms or smoking lounges
- In this paragraph, you’re talking about the detrimental effects of smoking on smokers, so I wonder why you are concerned with the importance of using smoking lounges or smoking rooms.
There is another situation when smokers say that their smoking is nothing to do with others and it is a private choice. That is true but unless it does not put other people’s health in risk and danger. You are free to do whatever you want until you are no harm to other creatures and environment.
- has nothing to do with
- After ‘unless’, the verb is always affirmative.
- put sb/sth at risk
- you mean no harm to
Smoking has a list of harms and disadvantages; that is why it should be banned just like any other drugs, let alone to smoke freely in public places. If government bans smoking in public places, it makes a huge favor the all of the country and its people and environment.
- to all
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- Overall, you need to use more conjunctions.
- Cohesion and coherence: 8 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 13 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 17 of 25%
- Task achievement: 21 of 25%
- Spelling: Good
- Punctuation: Average
- Word count: “300” – Perfect
- Time on Essay Writing: 40 Min – Excellent
- Band score: 5.5 of 9
Smoking is one of the most preventable causes of death in human societies. Some people believe that smoking should be banned in public places. We know that smoking especially second hand smoking is harmful for children, pregnant women and elderly. It causes too many mortality and morbidity and takes a heavy toll each year. Smoking ban could save lives and also help to lessen air pollution. It also help to people especially employees to be more productive since if workers and employees smoke less the chance of their sickness get minimized. Some also believe that smoking ban can reduce health cost. Smoking also increase the risk of fire in places with flammable vapors like gas stations. Smoking ban also lessens the chance of influencing children and young adults to take on bad habits.
There are also some people who advocate not to ban smoking in public places. They believe that overall it does not lead to those good results. They think that it takes away freedom from people and violate personal liberty. Some business owners even believe that restriction on smoking may drive customers away.
Considering all these data I advocate smoking ban in public places. I think if it saves the life of only one person it is enough reason to restrict smoking in public places.
Time : 60 min
The first comment attached to this post reads: Only one essay can be assessed, and the first essay will automatically be selected, which is Armaghan’s.
I think smoking is actually a really bad thing.
And I think we really must banned smoking in public places.
Because I think is not good that a 5 year old kid in a public places watch somebody’s smoking , I’m serious is not good at all , and one of the another reason’s is that if 3 or 4 people well be smoking in public place , that place well get a very bad smell.
In my opinion everyone must banned smoking in public places
I’m afraid this essay cannot be processed because, as mentioned earlier in the comment form, each topic can have ONLY one essay.
I think that smoking should be absolutely banned in public places. Smoking has lots of harm for smokers and non-smokers. Studies has shown that the ones near the smoke, are even in more danger. The smoke of the cigarette is poisonous to human’s respiratory system.
In public places appear lots of people, and the ones who are in more danger are pregnant women, elder people, children and people with heart disease. Smoke of cigarette can cause them a serious harm.
Children and teenagers can easily copy and emulate and seeing many people in public smoking can put them in dangerous area. They might think that smoking can turn them grown man (especially teenage boys) and want to give it a try, and one time is enough for a long time severe addiction.
Smoking has lots of harms for smokers themselves too. The risk of heart attack, respiratory diseases, higher risk of getting cancer, lung problem and so many more. Even if by knowing all this impacts of smoking, they still want to smoke, at least not in public places. There are some private places just for smoking. They can use that.
There is another situation when smokers say that their smoking is nothing to do with others and it is a private choice. That is true but unless it does not put other people’s health in risk and danger. You are free to do whatever you want until you are no harm to other creatures and environment.
Smoking has a list of harms and disadvantages; that is why it should be banned just like any other drugs, let alone to smoke freely in public places. If government bans smoking in public places, it makes a huge favor the all of the country and its people and environment.
amount of time: 40 Minutes
This is the first essay published as a comment for this post. Therefore, this essay will be analyzed in depth.
Please write only one essay no longer than 300 words within 40 minutes on the above topic.
Please mention how much time you’ll have spent on the essay, as well.