IELTS Essay on Computer Dependency in Education

IELTS Essay on Computer Dependency

IELTS Essay on Computer Dependency in Education

IELTS Essay on Computer Dependency in Education

Topic

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. 

Do you agree or disagree?

LELB Society’s Essayist: Charos Karimboyeva

Nowadays technology developping((is developing)) day by day. Moreover these inventions bring them((It should be omitted.)) not only adventages((advantages)) but also disadvantages. Some people think that school children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is((has)) a negative effect on reading and writing skills. Also teachers should not use the computer((computers)) in the classroom and go back((Instead, they should go back)) to teaching basic study skills. I do not agree((agree on / about something)) totally these informations((information)).
Today most of students use the computer in your((their – it refers to students.)) study. Firstly it is more effective way((a more effective way)) to learn any subjects. Secondly they can learn everything more cheaper((more cheaply — using an adverb in a comparative mode)) and convinient((convenient)) through the computer or internet.
On the other hand , introducing usage of computer which is negative affect thier((their)) learning language abilities because of avtomotic((automatic)) carrection((correction)) options. For instance, if the student write((writes)) an essay in Microsoft programme, he or she  do not((does not)) focuse((focus)) on grammatical and spelling mistakes because computer can be corrected((computers can correct them)) avtomatically((automatically)) with a bottom((button)) click.
In conclusion i((I)) agree that students and teachers should use computers but with a limit. If they exceed their limit it will be negatively students skill((it will have negative effects on students’ skills)).

Aessment:

  • IELTS Essay on Computer Dependency
  • Analysis:
    • It’s not still clear whether you agree on the central idea of the topic or not. You should clarify that in the introductory paragraph.
  • Cohesion and Cohesion (45% of 25%)
  • Grammatical Range and Accuracy (48% of 25%)
  • Lexical Resources (58% of 25%)
  • Task Achievement (65% of 25%)
  • Word Count: “179” The number is far too insufficient.

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