IELTS essay on animal abuse or animal cruelty with full essay and thorough assessment submitted to us by one of our students. Join LELB Society and send us your essays and writings for complete analysis.
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IELTS essay question on animal abuse
These days, many harmless animals are abused and mistreated for unnecessary purposes, such as taxidermy, traditional medicine, etc.
What solutions can you propose to tackle this issue.
IELTS essay on animal abuse
Since a long time ago, humans have used animals for their own benefits and they have taken advantage of animals for their own purposes such as medicine, food, and researching instinctive behavior. However, humans have stepped out of the line in this field and abused animals, and this issue must be tackled.
- stepped out of line
Firstly, many people are not aware of this amount of animal abuse and they do not have a single clue what cruelty has been forced on them. As a result, we can make a program or do research on this specific matter to demonstrate how violent and brutal this industry is. We need to stand up to scrutiny and aware more people of animal abuse. Animals sometimes have been put in cages or boxes for an extended period and they have been under laboratory chemicals. Moreover, they separate an animal child from its mother. All of these facts can be mentioned to aware more people.
- make more people aware of
- are sometimes put / placed = The tense must be simple present.
- they have been = they are (simple present tense)
- laboratory chemicals = they are used in laboratory experiments (a better collocation)
- make more people aware / increase people’s awareness
In addition, the reason humans allow themselves to interfere so much with nature and animals is the belief of the superiority of humans over other creatures. They believe they have this allowances to use animals for their own needs to survive. And maybe that is true just that it has gone too far. Surly they are other ways to test medicines and beauty products, or maybe the human body does not need this much amount of meat and dairy. Consequently, we can use vegetarian substitutions because plants have no nerves and pain receptors in contrast with animals and humans.
- the reason … lies in the belief that / the reason … is rooted in this belief that …
- these allowances
- allowance vs. consent / permission
- to meet / satisfy their own needs
- that is true just that … = an uncommon and weird phrase or too informal
- there are other ways
- such an inordinate amount of
- vegetarian diets
To sum up, there have been many huge discussions on animal abuse lately. And every single person has a different opinion. However, the experiments on animals are not ethical at all. Therefore, steps should be taken to prevent further harm to animals.
- long / serious / detailed discussions
- lately, and …
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- In your entire essay, the only categorical solution to the issue is adopting a vegetarian diet.
- Cohesion and coherence: 19 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 16 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 16 of 25%
- Task achievement: 12 of 25%
- Spelling: Great
- Punctuation: Good
- Word Count: “299 Words” – Perfect
- Time on Essay Writing: “40 Minutes” – Excellent
- Band score: 6 of 9
Since a long time ago, humans have used animals for their own benefits and they have taken advantage of animals for their own purposes such as medicine, food, and researching instinctive behavior. However, humans have stepped out of the line in this field and abused animals, and this issue must be tackled.
Firstly, many people are not aware of this amount of animal abuse and they do not have a single clue what cruelty has been forced on them. As a result, we can make a program or do research on this specific matter to demonstrate how violent and brutal this industry is. We need to stand up to scrutiny and aware more people of animal abuse. Animals sometimes have been put in cages or boxes for an extended period and they have been under laboratory chemicals. Moreover, they separate an animal child from its mother. All of these facts can be mentioned to aware more people.
In addition, the reason humans allow themselves to interfere so much with nature and animals is the belief of the superiority of humans over other creatures. They believe they have this allowances to use animals for their own needs to survive. And maybe that is true just that it has gone too far. Surly they are other ways to test medicines and beauty products, or maybe the human body does not need this much amount of meat and dairy. Consequently, we can use vegetarian substitutions because plants have no nerves and pain receptors in contrast with animals and humans.
To sum up, there have been many huge discussions on animal abuse lately. And every single person has a different opinion. However, the experiments on animals are not ethical at all. Therefore, steps should be taken to prevent further harm to animals.
Time spent on writing: 40 minutes
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