IELTS essay on artificial intelligence and jobs written by LELB Society students and submitted to us for thorough assessment
IELTS essay question on artificial intelligence and jobs
Artificial intelligence (AI) and robots will eventually replace many jobs currently done by humans. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Video of the essay on artificial intelligence and jobs
IELTS essay on artificial intelligence and jobs
The AI is a part of our lives, either we want or not, we must use that technology every single day and they take one or two jobs of our lives.
First, robots or bots (AI) can control traffic in the road or tram, in the other words a driverless train.
Second, medical doctors can use the machines for operations or for patient care which also shows that artificial intelligence is also a very important component which helps people.
Third, AI can’t keep up us in politics or with according to the psychotherapist, only people there can keep up with our intelligence or our feelings, but AI has already become a blessing for us because it also takes on many tasks from us that we would not like to do.
For example defusing bombs or in mining, if you are unsure that people should go in there because otherwise they could get injured or even die, you bring robots in so that they can check the situation and say whether it is safe or dangerous.
To summarize, AI is always needed to make something clear or easier like in traffic or careers.
Just like humans, AI cannot do everything, a great example is that all artificial intelligence has not feelings.
So, if you need someone to talk to you can make sure AI isn’t the great or right contact person.
Assessment and Score of the IELTS Essay:
Strengths:
- The essay addresses the prompt and discusses both sides of the argument (AI replacing jobs and AI being helpful).
- It provides specific examples of jobs AI can take over (traffic control, defusing bombs) and where AI is beneficial (medical assistance).
Weaknesses:
- Grammar and mechanics: There are several grammatical errors and typos throughout the essay (“The AI is a part of our lives,” “they take one or two jobs of our lives”).
- Clarity and organization: The essay could be clearer in its reasoning and structure. Sentences are sometimes repetitive, and there’s a lack of transitions between ideas.
- Vocabulary: The essay uses basic vocabulary and could benefit from more advanced words to improve the writing style.
- Discussion of the statement: The essay doesn’t fully explore “to what extent” AI will replace jobs. It focuses more on positive uses of AI.
Estimated Score: This essay would likely score in the Band 4-5 range. Here’s a breakdown:
- Task Achievement: 4 (Addresses the topic but lacks full discussion)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 3 (Ideas are not fully connected and lack transitions)
- Lexical Resource: 3 (Limited vocabulary)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 3 (Several grammatical errors)
Recommendations for improvement:
- Proofread carefully: Check for grammatical errors, typos and clarity in sentence construction.
- Focus on the prompt: Discuss the extent of AI replacing jobs in more detail. Will it be a complete takeover or more specific roles?
- Structure your essay: Organize paragraphs with clear topic sentences and supporting arguments. Use transitions to create a logical flow.
- Expand your vocabulary: Use more sophisticated words to express your ideas clearly.
- Address the limitations of AI: Discuss jobs AI cannot perform due to its lack of emotions, creativity, or complex problem-solving skills.
Additional Tips:
- Use a variety of sentence structures to avoid monotony.
- Provide evidence to support your claims, like statistics or research findings.
- Use a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance on the prompt.
By addressing these aspects, you can significantly improve your essay writing skills and score higher on the IELTS exam.
(From Dr. Hariri): Your essay as a comment has been cut and pasted in the body of this post to avoid duplicate content.
Thank you so much for submitting your IELTS essay on artificial intelligence and jobs to us for assessment and analysis.
You should always try to help other people because you never know what reward you will get and even if you have a lot and other people only want a quarter of what you have, you can give it away and make someone else happy make or even fulfill a wish and as in the story at the end both received paradise as a reward for all their good deeds.
Rozita
This comment is totally irrelevant. You were supposed to write an essay on the impact of artificial intelligence on the rate of unemployment.
Please write only one essay consisting of at least 3 paragraphs: introduction, supporting, and conclusion, on this topic. Please submit your essay at least one day before the class so as to have enough time to examine and evaluate it in depth.