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IELTS Essay on Education with Full Essay + Analysis

Published on April 22nd, 2022 | Last updated on April 28th, 2022 by | 7 Comments on IELTS Essay on Education with Full Essay + Analysis | 86 Views | Reading Time: 5 minutes

IELTS essay on education with complete essay and essay question submitted to us for in-depth evaluation and scoring by our members. Prepare yourself for the IELTS exam, especially essay writing.

IELTS essay question on education

Some pedagogues argue that traditional education in physical classes will not be replaced by online education. However, according to some educationalists, online education will take the place of traditional education sooner or later.

In your opinion, which of these two types of education will become more dominant in the future. Support your claim with reasons.

IELTS essay on education

The ongoing pace of modern technology puts behind many old traditions and ways of life. The old and traditional methods even couldn’t cope or keep pace with everyday progress in new technologies. This claim is even true in the field of education.

  1. Do not use contractions in your essay.
  2. You have implied or indirectly stated your position as the topic sentence of your introductory paragraph. It should be explicit and not implicit. Even, you’re encouraged to repeat the keywords.

Our insight of new methods of education has changed more since the outbreak of Covid 19. The distance and online learning became a must since closure of schools and universities resulting from social distancing of covid 19. We all know that traditional classes have many advantages e.g. the children become more sociable and eye to eye learning bring more friendship both among classmates and between students and teachers. On the other hand traditional education has it’s own disadvantages. Students, teachers and all staffs of these institutes spend much time in traffics each day going there and always there is a limitation in choosing teachers and method of learning.Online learning methods don’t have such restrictions. You can choose any classes with the best teachers you like from different parts of world. We can save time and money , make progress and achieve our goals in in this way .

  1. insight into
  2. This paragraph is too long.
  3. has changed more what?? more considerably / dramatically / noticeably
  4. Distance and online learning
  5. have become (present perfect tense)
  6. the closure of …
  7. children
  8. face-to-face / tête-à-tête – We have the term “see eye to eye“, which has a different meaning.
  9. brings
  10. On the other hand, (comma). You should start a new paragraph with this conjunction.
  11. its vs. it’s, you should know the distinction.
  12. Staff / personnel (singular form but plural connotation)
  13. in the traffic
  14. don’t = do not
  15. the world
  16. A sudden shift of pronouns from “you” to “we”?
  17. Duplication of “in”, which is a typo. Proofreading is recommended.

To sum up my discussion considering the pros and cons of both methods I think the combination of online education methods with the traditional classes get the best result.

  1. After “to sum up”, you should put a comma and write an independent sentence. In your case, “my discussion …” is supposed to be the object of “to sum up”, which is wrong.
  2. This is not a comparative essay delineating the pros and cons of counterparts, although you sometimes indirectly need to compare and contrast things.
  3. You are proposing something new in your conclusion, which is the combination of both traditional and online education. In your conclusion, you should only summarize or repeat something already mentioned.

Analysis and scoring

  • Analysis
    • Pay more attention to the standard format and length of paragraphs.
  • Cohesion and coherence: 16 of 25%
  • Grammatical range and accuracy: 16 of 25%
  • Lexical resources: 14 of 25%
  • Task achievement: 9 of 25%
  • Spelling: Good
  • Punctuation: Needs improvement
  • Word count: “218” Insufficient number of words. Minimum number = 250
  • Time on Essay Writing: X of 40 minutes
    • You receive a ticket for not mentioning your spent time. It was requested in the comment form.
  • Band score: 5 of 9

Related tags and keywords

  1. distance learning
  2. education
  3. essay
  4. online education

Use the comment form below and ask any question you might have about this essay and its assessment.


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7 comments on “IELTS Essay on Education with Full Essay + Analysis”

  1. I think that technical and complicated subjects such as Mathematics, Physics , chemistry, should be taught in traditional ways. It is better for children to learn this subjects in school classes. In this way both teachers and students can communicate and share their ideas, and students can more easily and faster ask their questions, and it would be more simple for children to know what is their problem and can easily resolve them. Subjects as History, Dini ( In religious schools) students can easily learn them from long distance, because the does not need much extra explanation and formulaic figures.
    with this speed of technology growth , I am able to guess that not in very far future, children can be both present at the class and sit on their chair in their homes.
    There is a new technology coming , named as Portal Technology. By using this we can be present in many places, we can be in our home, sitting on a couch, and drinking a cup of tea with our family in another city and talk to them.
    This can be very helpful for the kids too.
    the can both see each other, talk, share ideas and laugh , and be in their own bedrooms.
    No time wasting in traffic jams; we are going to have the best of both worlds. ( Armaghan)

    Time spend: 25 minuets

    Reply
    • Thank you for submitting a separate essay. As mentioned before, I can only analyze one essay per week because I need to publish a NEW post for only one unique essay. Two essays in one post with different evaluation is not possible.
      So, I will analyze your essay over the next week.

      Reply
  2. Drear Dr Hariri
    I wrote those paragraphs. Armaghan will also send her writing. I think I spend about 30 minuets to write this.

    Reply
  3. The ongoing pace of modern technology puts behind many old traditions and ways of life. The old and traditional methods even couldn’t cope or keep pace with everyday progress in new technologies. This claim is even true in the field of education.
    Our insight of new methods of education has changed more since the outbreak of Covid 19. The distance and online learning became a must since closure of schools and universities resulting from social distancing of covid 19. We all know that traditional classes have many advantages e.g. the children become more sociable and eye to eye learning bring more friendship both among classmates and between students and teachers. On the other hand traditional education has it’s own disadvantages. Students, teachers and all staffs of these institutes spend much time in traffics each day going there and always there is a limitation in choosing teachers and method of learning.Online learning methods don’t have such restrictions. You can choose any classes with the best teachers you like from different parts of world.We can save time and money , make progress and achieve our goals in in this way .
    To sum up my discussion considering the pros and cons of both methods I think the combination of online education methods with the traditional classes get the best result.

    Reply
    • Some points to consider:
      1. Please mention the amount of time you spend on each essay to make a more accurate assessment.
      2. It’s not obligatory to compose an essay per week. If you think I’m overloading you, just tell me about it.
      3. I highly recommend you pay more attention to the round table activity. This way, you can practice writing and speaking in the most natural way.

      Reply
  4. For a more precise assessment, please mention the amount of time you spend on the essay. As stated before, the maximum amount of time for an IELTS essay Task 2 is 40 minutes.
    Besides, each one of you could write their own paragraphs in separate comments and with their own accounts. (optional)

    Reply

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