IELTS Essay on Environment with Model Essay & Scoring

An IELTS essay on environment with full essay and essay question submitted to us by our members. This essay is completely analyzed and evaluated. The four elements of task achievement, grammar, lexical resources and coherence are taken into account.

IELTS essay question on environment

Some scientists warn us that human activities have endangered the environment in some certain ways, such as deforestation, air pollution, global warming, etc. However, many people think that these warnings are not really serious.

What do you think about the effect of human activities on the environment. Please support your claim with reasons.

IELTS essay on environment

According to Cambridge dictionary, the environment is defined as the air, water and land, in or on which people, animals and plants live. We all know the significance of environmental change in our lives. We know that in all eras of the earth history, life of living creatures have been significantly affected by chance in their surroundings environment. We know that many species went to extinct by sudden or gradual changes in their environmental conditions.

1. Cambridge Dictionary
2. Put a comma after dictionary.
3. lives of living creatures have …
4. The phrase ‘by chance’ shows that you’re not referring to the impact of human activities on the environment.
5. surrounding (adj)
6. became extinct
7. The central idea of this essay is the (possible) effect of “human activities” on the environment, yet you have not mentioned anything about human activities in your introductory paragraph.

Sometimes these changes cause extinction of one species or even can resulted in most extinction. One great example of this is the extinction of Dinosaurs 66 million years ago by sudden environmental changes resulting from a meteorite impacts on earth. Dinosaurs did not have any role in their extinction but human beings as the most intelligent creature on earth do this by themselves.

1. Sometimes,
2. the extinction of
3. result
4. prevalent / widespread / ubiquitous extinction
5. dinosaurs
6. approximately / around 66 … (use more adverbs like this.)
7. Omit “a”.
8. We’re not yet certain about your position to the central idea of the essay because there has not been any clear-cut topic sentence.

It has been around 6 million years that humans have lived on earth. After rising population and urbanization, human kind needed to use the nature to survive, to make papers from wood, to cut the trees to build apartments and fossil fuels caused by factories and automobiles.

1. mankind
2. cut down
3. … needed to use the nature to survive, cut down the trees, etc. You don’t need to repeat “to” in succession.
4. cut down trees to build apartments or houses? Apartments are not generally made of wood. (logic)
5. The last section in red doesn’t fit in with the previous structure (to + verb). (parallelism). This part doesn’t have any independent verb, hence quite ambiguous.

Soon it turns out that the case is getting out of control and humans are overeating the natural supplies. Scientists warned people that if things go on like this, the life on earth will be impossible. Deforestation, air pollution, global waning, etc.

1. turned
2. life
3. Your 4th paragraph sounds like the general background that should be written in the introductory paragraph, i.e. laying / setting the foundation.
4. The last sentence lacks any verb.

Most people unfortunately started to ignore the warnings, perhaps because they could not see the changes and danger by their eyes. But as few years passed, they started to feel the heat rises, the pollution and they started to panic.

1. with their eyes
2. and therefore / consequently / accordingly / for this reason (Use more accurate conjunctions.)

Now days still we are dealing with this issues and still many people seem to not care about nature, animals, plants and the posterity; but many people have started to awake and trying to warn the others.

1. Nowadays
2. we are still dealing with
3. these issues
4. posterity
5. Posterity and awake are good words to use.
6. tried – parallel to have started and have tried – Have should be reduced the second time.

Not that I want to slogan, but the secret is that all of us, we human kind, start from ourselves and try to do our part to save our planet and also other creatures because Earth is our one and only home. There must be something done and we should try to compensate our past mistakes rather than putting the blame on each other.

1. Slogan is a noun
2. mankind, human beings
3. compensate for
4. There must be something to do / Some crucial measures should be taken (write more formally with advanced vocabulary.)
5. Compensate is a good word. You need to use these words more often.
6. Your concluding paragraph is not indicative of the central idea or theme discussed in the question.

Analysis and scoring

• Analysis
  • Use more advanced and formal vocabulary. This is really a MUST.
  • You are not loyal to the central theme or thesis statement.
• Cohesion and coherence: 11 of 25%
• Grammatical range and accuracy: 15 of 25%
• Lexical resources: 12 of 25%
• Task achievement: 8 of 25%
• Spelling: Good
• Punctuation: Average
• Word count: “371” Excellent
• Time on Essay Writing: X of 40 minutes
• Band score: 4.5 of 9

Related tags and keywords

1. deforestation
2. environment
3. essay
4. global warming
5. human activities
6. air pollution
7. warning