IELTS essay on obesity and overweightness with full essay and essay question with thorough evaluation and scoring submitted to us by our students. Join LELB Society as an IELTS candidate and submit unlimited essay for correction.
IELTS essay question on obesity
The rate of obesity, particularly childhood obesity, is increasing at a rapid pace.
What could be the underlying cause of obesity in society?
What solutions can you offer to the issue of overweightness?
IELTS essay on obesity
The rate of obesity, particularly childhood obesity, is increasing at a rapid pace.
- Your first paragraph lacks any topic sentence.
Nowadays obesity becomes a major health problem not only in developed countries with flourishing economy but also in underdeveloped poor societies.
- has become
- This is your second paragraph and you’re not yet referring to any underlying cause of obesity.
In remote past starvation and deficiencies of nutritional substances were thought to be one of the major health problems of human being. Even after stunning progresses in 21st century nutritional imbalances -obesity- threatens the health and further progress of human being.
- human beings
- progress
- the 21st century
Why obesity became so prevalent in the world and what underlying causes could be defined for it?
- Don’t use short sentences as independent paragraphs in your essay.
- The format of this paragraph is like a title because it doesn’t comply with a question form.
- An essay is different from an article, especially in terms of format or structure.
One of the main reason is changing human being life style from an active physical work to a sedentary sitting life style engaging in socializing, watching TV, playing video games and in one word less active life style with the habit of sitting behind the desk or running a coach potato type life style.
- reasons
- reasons of what? You’re in a new paragraph, and you should use the keyword(s) if necessary.
- lifestyle
- Work is not a lifestyle. You can use “laborer, worker, etc.” instead.
- The word, socializing’ is not convincing enough. It could also augment physical activities. It’s better to use “online socialization”, which doesn’t require much physical activity.
- couch potato
- type of lifestyle OR simply omit the word “type”.
We also could mention junk food, depression, stressful life, and lack of education as underlying causes of obesity . I deeply believed that if we educate children and give them the insight of how a sedentary life could lead to overweight and dangerous obesity which by itself could culminate in severe health problem e.g. cancer, diabetes and heart problem, they avoid inactive life by themselves.
- We could also mention …
- obesity.
- believe
- insight into
- overweight obesity?? –> excessive obesity
We have no choice other than changing our lifestyle from a sedentary to a physically and mentally active jolly life and as mentioned above encourage children to avoid junk food and promote them to take part in regular physical activities and educate them . It is a must and we have no other choice.
- This is a good conclusion to draw.
- This structure is wrong: promote someone to do something
- them.
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- The format of your essay should be refined.
- Cohesion and coherence: 15 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 15 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 20 of 25%
- Task achievement: 18 of 25%
- Spelling: Good
- Punctuation: Below average
- You need to use more punctuation marks, especially commas.
- Word count: “265” Fair
- Time on Essay Writing: 60 min
- The maximum time you have is 40 minutes.
- Band score: 6 of 9
Related tags and keywords
- essay
- heart disease
- junk food
Obesity is concern as a medical problem when the amount of fat in somebody’s body is high. Obesity increases the risk of other diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart diseases and other health problems.
Nowadays obesity has come a major problem for most of the countries around the world, specially the rate of childhood obesity, is increasing at a rapid pace. Lots of scientists and doctors are searching to find a solution. It is said that lack of exercise, unhealthy diet, environmental issues and genetics are the fundamental causes of obesity.
Having enough activity per day, has become a real challenge for people these days particularly for young generation. After the Covid-19 pandemic, the rate has increased. Works and schools has become online and most of the children plays and entertainments has become indoor activities. Playing Play Station 4 and 5 and other video game consoles, watching cartoons and movies from platforms and so on. It is obvious that after a while, it is easy to gain weight.
So what can be done in order to reduce the amount of overweightness?
First of all everybody should start from themselves, it is essential that people now what diseases come along with obesity. Then is the time of action. You can take part in online sport classes for exercising at home or choose a sport and continue it. You can also easily go to a nutrition doctor to get help. And of course exercising is not everything; you should be aware of your diet too. If the amount of take in calories is higher than burn calories, you are not going to lose weight.
Having enough amount of exercise and activity is not just to have a fit body and be in a good shape, but also to be energetic and have a healthier life and prevent the incoming diseases. We should take care of our body for it is a gift and it is going to accompany us our whole life. And also it helps us tp have more confidence and have a better attitude to the world and our life.
( Time spend: 45 minutes )
60 minutes on writing
The rate of obesity, particularly childhood obesity, is increasing at a rapid pace.
Nowadays obesity becomes a major health problem not only in developed countries with flourishing economy but also in underdeveloped poor societies.
In remote past starvation and deficiencies of nutritional substances were thought to be one of the major health problems of human being. Even after stunning progresses in 21st century nutritional imbalances -obesity- threatens the health and further progress of human being.
Why obesity became so prevalent in the world and what underlying causes could be defined for it?
One of the main reason is changing human being life style from an active physical work to a sedentary sitting life style engaging in socializing, watching TV, playing video games and in one word less active life style with the habit of sitting behind the desk or running a coach potato type life style.
We also could mention junk food, depression, stressful life, and lack of education as underlying causes of obesity . I deeply believed that if we educate children and give them the insight of how a sedentary life could lead to overweight and dangerous obesity which by itself could culminate in severe health problem e.g. cancer, diabetes and heart problem, they avoid inactive life by themselves.
We have no choice other than changing our lifestyle from a sedentary to a physically and mentally active jolly life and as mentioned above encourage children to avoid junk food and promote them to take part in regular physical activities and educate them . It is a must and we have no other choice.