IELTS essay on sports and physical exercise with full essay + complete analysis and scoring. Submit your IELTS essays to us for profound assessment. We’ve already assessed over 200 IELTS essays.
IELTS essay question on sports
School children do not seem to spend adequate time doing physical exercise to prevent overweightness and obesity.
Do you agree that this is the best solution to the issue of obesity in school children?
Mention a few other solutions to tackle this issue.
IELTS essay on sports
Nowadays obesity seems to be a major and dangerous problem to many people, especially school children and teenagers. Obesity and overweightness in children, increases the risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol which are risk factors for heart disease, breathing problems such as asthma. It also reflects on children’s mental health and self-confidence. That is why obesity is such a hazardous condition.
- in children increase
- increases => increase
- high blood pressure and high cholesterol which are
- and breathing problems …
- reflects
- Your first paragraph does not address the question directly.
But the question what are reasons and what should be done to reduce weight and prevent obesity? It is conspicuous and that this young generation have less physical activity than the older ones; due to the absorbing computer games and gaming consoles such as PlayStation and X-Box and etc. And also online classes, children even do not need to go the school and seat in woody chairs and have physical activity with their friends. There would be no wonder, why children start to gain weight. And the next question, what should be done?
- the question is what reasons exist behind obesity
- conspicuous
- the young generation
- older one
- due to being absorbed in
- video game consoles
- etc.
- go to school
- in online classes
- sit on
- wonder
It is said that school children should have at least 60 minutes physical activity in school days, and even more than that would not bother. But I do not think it is the best solution, for this is not the one and only solution. For instants, parents can control children’s time of computer games playing and reduce screen time activities. School staff and parents can also encourage them to be more active and to be productive. Pantry stocked at school and the fridge at home should be kept with healthy foods and drinks. And for the kindergarten children, food should not be used as a reward.
- 60 minutes of
- on / during school days
- would not yield negative results
- For instance
- spent in playing computer games
- to be more active and productive
- should be stuffed with / replenished
Sum total of this context is that obesity is a serious but a surmountable problem. With a good and practical solutions, it can be compensated.
- The sum total of …, although this is not a good conjunction in this context.
- surmountable
- With
- Not a very standard conclusion!
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- You’re using more advanced vocabulary! Sounds great!
- Cohesion and coherence: 17 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 12 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 21 of 25%
- Task achievement: 16 of 25%
- Spelling: Good
- Punctuation: OK
- Word count: “286” Great
- Time on Essay Writing: 40 minutes – Excellent
- Band score: 5.5 of 9
I have another question, as you mentioned, I do not know how to write a good and standard conclusion. Would you please help me with that?
In your conclusion, you should either rephrase or summarize the points you mentioned in your essay. You are welcome to repeat the keywords as well. Moreover, you should not give new information not mentioned in your essay.
Hello Dr.Hariri.
I have a question in my essay’s analysis.
in this part: (It also reflects on children’s mental health and self-confidence), you had marked (reflects on), so that means the verb reflect doesn’t need proposition ( on) ?
Reflect on / upon is a phrasal verb which means to think deeply on something, ponder, consider, dwell on, etc.
Reflect = be a sign of something, suggest, indicate, etc.
40 min
Thanks for mentioning the allocated time.
School children do not seem to spend adequate time doing physical exercise to prevent overweightness and obesity.
This is one of the main solicitudes of parents and education officials. The problem became even worse after COVID 19 pandemic. Most of children and even adults had to remain home and had no choice other than being a coach potato. This kind of sedentary life with consuming too much junk food added salt to injury. Even after receding the outbreak and opening the schools the problem continues. Several reasons could be mentioned. One of the main problems is lack of enough physical activity. Children usually have a sweat tooth and have a tendency to eat fast foods. Most of them spend hours in front of TV or computer games without spending a calorie.
So to deal with this problem the best way is to persuade them to be more physically active. Sport in school and at weekends is a good policy to manage it. The other solution to tackle this issue is encouraging them to eat less junk food. Another thing that help reducing the problem is school trips for children. Taking them to nature under supervision of school officials both help them to be more active and being with their classmate also develop their social skills.
Time on essay writing: 40 minutes.
Great! Thank you.
Nowadays obesity seems to be a major and dangerous problem to many people, especially school children and teenagers. Obesity and overweightness in children, increases the risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol which are risk factors for heart disease, breathing problems such as asthma. It also reflects on children’s mental health and self-confidence. That is why obesity is such a hazardous condition.
But the question what are reasons and what should be done to reduce weight and prevent obesity? It is conspicuous and that this young generation have less physical activity than the older ones; due to the absorbing computer games and gaming consoles such as PlayStation and X-Box and etc. And also online classes, children even do not need to go the school and seat in woody chairs and have physical activity with their friends. There would be no wonder, why children start to gain weight. And the next question, what should be done?
It is said that school children should have at least 60 minutes physical activity in school days, and even more than that would not bother. But I do not think it is the best solution, for this is not the one and only solution. For instants, parents can control children’s time of computer games playing and reduce screen time activities. School staff and parents can also encourage them to be more active and to be productive. Pantry stocked at school and the fridge at home should be kept with healthy foods and drinks. And for the kindergarten children, food should not be used as a reward.
Sum total of this context is that obesity is a serious but a surmountable problem. With a good and practical solutions, it can be compensated.
Thanks for submitting your essay. It will be analyzed thoroughly by your next class.
Dear Dr. Hooshmand,
With all due respect, I should say that you do not pay attention to this point that each topic should have only one essay. I’m quoting myself:
” As you already know, each topic should have only one essay no longer than 300 words.”
I can create a fresh new topic per week for you, and only one fresh essay is allowed for the corresponding topic. The second, third, etc. will not be assessed.
As you already know, each topic should have only one essay no longer than 300 words.