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IELTS essay question on tourism
Some people believe that tourists should respect and adapt to the new culture and customs of the local people that they are visiting.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
IELTS essay on tourism
Traveling is an essential need for us human beings, which help us to fresh our souls and open our minds. Many people like to visit foreign countries as tourists and mostly the countries that have cultural difference and attitude of living from their own homeland.
- which helps (it refers back to traveling)
- refresh / freshen
- differences
- attitude to / toward
- different from – ‘attitude’ should have an adjective describing distinction because you’re comparing two different things.
There are countless countries that have totally different point of view and some of their traditions might be even very strange and meaningless to us. That is why we should search about the country we want to visit before entering that specific country. They might even have rules which sound crazy to us and we would not like to obey them.
- The adjective, countless, seems to be rather exaggerative and too strong in this context. Even the number of all countries is NOT countless, but finite.
- points of view
- search for / research on / into / about
- Them should be omitted. E.g. This is the book I was talking about.
- Neither in this paragraph nor in the preceding one, have you directly answered the main question explicitly: Do you agree or disagree ….
To answer the question I must say that I am totally agreed that if we want to enter a foreign country and visit there, we should respect their traditions and rules and specially their local people’s beliefs and custom. It is obvious that not all the people around the world should have same beliefs and ideas as we have. We may do not agree with them and even have theoretical explanations that they are wrong, and we do not need to argue or agree with them but to respect them; we should respects other people’s interests and traditions; we might even learn from them and they might help us to open our eyes and minds to a completely different point of view and free us from a conditional mind.
- I totally agree
- Learn the difference between specially vs. especially. I surmise this is the 2nd time you’re making the same mistake.
- customs
- It’s too late to answer the main question here in the third paragraph.
- the same
- as we do
- we may / might not agree
- should respect
That is why I find it so important to respect and adopt the beliefs and rules of the people we are visiting their country. To observe without prejudice.
- Your conclusion is too succinct. You need to either restate or summarize your claims.
- Why did you use ‘adopt’ instead of ‘adapt to’ as one of the keywords. First of all, they are not the same; second of all, the repetition of keywords should not be violated.
- … country; to observe … You have treated the last 4 words as a sentence, while it is not.
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- The basic issue with your essay is about its formality level. You need to use more formal vocabulary.
- Cohesion and coherence: 18 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 15 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 13 of 25%
- Task achievement: 19 of 25%
- Spelling: Good
- Punctuation: Above average
- Word count: “263” Perfect!
- Time on Essay Writing: 30 minutes
- Band score: 6 of 9
Time spend on essay writing: 30 minuets
Thank you for mentioning the spent time.
Traveling is an essential need for us human beings, which help us to fresh our souls and open our minds. Many people like to visit foreign countries as tourists and mostly the countries that have cultural difference and attitude of living from their own homeland.
There are countless countries that have totally different point of view and some of their traditions might be even very strange and meaningless to us. That is why we should search about the country we want to visit before entering that specific country. They might even have rules which sound crazy to us and we would not like to obey them.
To answer the question I must say that I am totally agreed that if we want to enter a foreign country and visit there, we should respect their traditions and rules and specially their local people’s beliefs and custom. It is obvious that not all the people around the world should have same beliefs and ideas as we have. We may do not agree with them and even have theoretical explanations that they are wrong, and we do not need to argue or agree with them but to respect them; we should respects other people’s interests and traditions; we might even learn from them and they might help us to open our eyes and minds to a completely different point of view and free us from a conditional mind.
That is why I find it so important to respect and adopt the beliefs and rules of the people we are visiting their country. To observe without prejudice.
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