IELTS Essay on Television Audiences for Band 5.5

IELTS Essay on Television Audiences

IELTS Essay on Television Audiences

Source of Visual Data: www.ielts.org

Topic

The graph above shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.

IELTS Candidate: Andre Christoga Pramaditya

According to the data above, the audience of television in the UK is less than 50 percent, even the audience of radio only makes 30 percent of the population.

• television audience / radio audience
• In your introduction paragraph for Task 1, you should provide a general overview of the visual data.

On the radio data, we can see that it has around 8% listeners on 6 AM, 20% listeners on 8 AM, 21% on 10 AM, and then it goes down to 15% on 12 PM, 11% on 2 PM, 13% on 4 PM, back to 10% on 6 PM, 7% on 8 PM, 5% on 10 PM, 3% on 12 AM, 1% on 2 AM, 2% on 4 AM and back to 3% on 6 AM.

• The data on the radio audience show that …
• You have confused your reader with so many statistics. You do not need to report all of the statistics.
• at 6 am, and the like

Therefore, we can conclude that the highest rate of radio listeners is at 8 AM and the lowest rate of listeners is at 2 AM.

• The above paragraph should be attached to the previous one because it’s just a conclusion.

On the other hand, on the television data, we can see that it has around 0% watchers on 6 AM, 5% on 8 AM, 4% on 10 AM, 6% on 12 PM, 13% on 2 PM, 19% on 4 PM, it then goes up to 40% on 6 PM, it then goes to it’s highest which is 45% on 8 PM, it then goes down to 35% on 10 PM, and 15% on 12 AM, and around 3% on 2 AM, and it goes a bit up to 5% on 4 AM, and then 7% on 6 AM.

• its highest point
• You have overused statistics successively, which is rather confusing.

Therefore, we can conclude that the highest rate of television watchers is at 8 PM and the lowest rate of watchers is at 6 AM.

• You’ve not concluded anything. It’s just a general overview and you’ve reported it.
• The above paragraph should be attached to the previous one because it’s just an overview.
• You should use some adverbs like respectively to shorten the length of your sentences and show statistics more easily.

We can also see that the rate of radio listeners and television watchers were both around 15% on 1 PM and both were also around 2% on 3 AM. We can also conclude that the audience of television outnumbers the audience of radio.

• rates
• It’s better to use the keywords in the instructions more frequently. For instance, television and radio audiences.

Assessment

• Band score = 5.5 of 9
•  Analysis:
  • You should use more intensifiers and adverbs of frequency.
• Cohesion and Cohesion (16% of 25%)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (20% of 25%)
• Lexical Resources (15% of 25%)
• Task Achievement (18% of 25%)
• Spelling: Good
• Punctuation: Good
• Word Count: “296” You’ve used approximately twice as many words as the minimum requirement, i.e. 150 words.

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