IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 18
Topic:
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.
Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.
Nowadays, in the west, the level of children’s obesity has been raised by 20% which has become a serious problem. So, this essay is going to cast light on the reasons and consequences of this change in children.
To begin with, many reasons have lain behind the extra weight of children. First and foremost, children play outdoor games much less than the past owing to the prevalence of video games. Although some believe computer games could help children to fortify their spatial skills, they make children overweight. Moreover, parents want to keep their children under their control strongly in order to save them from any danger and as a result, they do no encourage children for outdoor activities.
Furthermore, being overweight could give rise to many problems for children. For instance, the health of children would be in danger and they are likely to deal with some diseases such as cardiovascular diseases or heart attacks in their adulthood. What is more, being overweight reduces the self-esteem of children which could have destructive effects on their future life.
To sum up, in the west, the obesity of children, which has been increased recently, has many causes and effects which need to be considered.
Please note that Arash has gone on a business trip and he will be absent for the following 2 sessions (i.e., Saturday and Tuesday). So, if you like to give lectures, the cycle starts with Fatemeh. However, as you may know, none of your assignments is compulsory.
Nowadays, in the west, the level of children’s obesity has been raised by 20% which has become a serious problem. So, this essay is going to cast light on the reasons and consequences of this change in children.
To begin with, many reasons have lain behind the extra weight of children. First and foremost, children play outdoor games much less than the past owing to the prevalence of video games. Although some believe computer games could help children to fortify their spatial skills, they make children overweight. Moreover, parents want to keep their children under their control strongly in order to save them from any danger and as a result, they do no encourage children for outdoor activities.
Furthermore, being overweight could give rise to many problems for children. For instance, the health of children would be in danger and they are likely to deal with some diseases such as cardiovascular diseases or heart attacks in their adulthood. What is more, being overweight reduces the self-esteem of children which could have destructive effects on their future life.
To sum up, in the west, the obesity of children, which has been increased recently, has many causes and effects which need to be considered.
Line 1: childhood obesity
Line 6: fortify skill, say: improve, acquire, master, develop, grow, learn, but ‘fortify’ is not a good choice for ‘skill’.
Line 8: encourage somebody to do something / encourage sb in sth
Line 10: Better to avoid the repetition of the word, disease, immediately after one another. For example, you can replace the first ‘diseases’ with ‘illnesses’.