IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 19
Topic:
Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life.
To what extent do you agree?
A balanced diet is an integral part of a healthy lifestyle. I do agree with this perspective though it is controversial.
There is a nice saying “you are what you eat”. It is really crucial to have a good nutrition. In fact, humans’ bodies need various materials and substances to be well-nourished. For instance, different vitamins and minerals could be found in fruits and such healthy foods. Moreover, some junk foods and greasy foods could bring about enormous diseases or cancers. To exemplify, feeding on fried foods would clog the vessels which is really dangerous and could cause cardiovascular diseases in the long run.
A balanced diet is an integral part of a healthy lifestyle. I do agree with this perspective though it is controversial.
There is a nice saying “you are what you eat”. It is really crucial to have a good nutrition. In fact, humans’ bodies need various materials and substances to be well-nourished. For instance, different vitamins and minerals could be found in fruits and such healthy foods. Moreover, some junk foods and greasy foods could bring about enormous diseases or cancers. To exemplify, feeding on fried foods would clog the vessels which is really dangerous and could cause cardiovascular diseases in the long run.
Line 3: Nutrition is uncountable. Nutrition is not something that you can have. Better to say, to follow or adopt a nutritious diet.
Line 5: Fruits and such healthy foods? At least, you need to give more examples except ‘fruits’ to use phrases starting with ‘such’.
Line 5: It’s better to omit the first ‘foods’ in ‘junk and greasy foods’.
Line 6: Exemplify is a transitive verb and requires an object. It’s better to say: to exemplify this point or fact,
Line 6: Technically speaking, we say liquids, especially blood, clot. It’s better to substitute ‘clog’ for ‘clot’.
Thank you for your correction but I used “clog” as a verb (obstruct)
You are right. I thought you were referring to blood vessels being clotted due to high cholesterol, which causes cardiovascular diseases.