Overpopulated Cities | An IELTS Essay Sample

Overpopulated Cities | An IELTS Essay Sample

Overpopulated Cities | An IELTS Essay Sample

Topic:

Efforts to reduce overpopulation in urban areas do not seem to be satisfactory.

Criticize the adopted strategies for dealing with this serious issue and propose your own solution(s) to the problem.

The Essayist: Sasan

The promise of jobs and prosperity pulls people into the cities, thereby increasing the number of people in towns. To overcome this pressing issue, my personal ideas along with some ineffective steps which have been taken are going to be discussed in this essay.

Some authorities have tried to increase the prices of accommodation in cities in order to curb overpopulation in towns. Not only was this method helpful, it brought about many new problems as well. For instance, purchasing houses in cities became a type of investment which is under a question by nature. Also, some ridiculous solutions have been suggested by some good-for-nothing people.

From my vantage point, all people in societies should be educated at Universities. In other words, when people are deprived of education, they believe “the more hands, the more money” and never think about side effects of having more children. Moreover, having enough information about birth control issues could be helpful. Furthermore, people should be aware of contraceptives thoroughly.

✅ Error Correction:

• Line 5: Not only … but also: It’s better to put this sentence in the present perfect tense to indicate the results.
• Line 5: The formula is “not only, but also”, at least you should use ‘but’ in your sentence.
• Line 8: There is no need to the word ‘university’ when it is used generally.
• Last line: It’s better to write: people should learn how to use contraceptive devices/methods.