Cosmetic Surgery | An IELTS Essay Sample
Cosmetic Surgery | An IELTS Essay Sample
Topic:
Nowadays, many people, particularly young women, undergo cosmetic surgery more and more often.
How do you appraise the growing propensity for this type of surgery in modern society?
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The Essayist: Sasan
Today, people have a great tendency for plastic surgeries and care about their appearances considerably. I believe that this voracious appetite could have pros and cons at the same time but people should try to take advantage of the positive aspects mostly.
On the one hand, making changes in the outward appearance could be helpful not only for looking more beautiful but also for boosting confidence. To be more precise, some people are not satisfied with some parts of their appearances such as noses, leaps, etc. In doing so, they go through some surgeries in order to compensate for features in which they are lacking. Moreover, in some occasions, such surgeries would be really beneficial. To exemplify it, some facial features of a person need to be reconstructed owing to an accident. Also, under the influence of a nose job, the risk of sinus infection dwindles. Besides that, some women are suffering from carrying heavy breasts which results in excruciating back pain. So, the gains of cosmetic surgeries ought not to be diminished.
On the other hand, these sorts of surgeries are like double-edged sword and they may have drawbacks as well. For instance, some changes in the God-given organs could bring about some chronic illnesses such as cancer. Also, sometimes, the doctors who perform surgeries are not that professional and it leads to unsatisfactory changes in a person’s appearance.
In conclusion, it seems to me that plastic surgeries could have advantages and disadvantages simultaneously, however wise people could benefit from the positive aspects mostly.
Error Correction:
- Paragraph 1, Line 1: The words, surgery, had better be used in a singular form as it is uncountable.
- Paragraph 1, Line 1: appearance (singular)
- Paragraph 2, Line 1: It’s better to say: make changes to …
- Paragraph 2, Line 2: appearance
- Paragraph 2, Line 2: lips
- Paragraph 2, Line 3: surgery
- Paragraph 2, Line 3: features in which they are lacking :arrow: the features which they think they lack
- Paragraph 2, Line 3-4: on some occasions
- Paragraph 2, Line 4: reconstruct :arrow: repair
- Paragraph 2, Line 5: are suffering :arrow: suffer
- Paragraph 2, Last line: diminish :arrow: disregard (it makes more sense.)
- Paragraph 3, Line 1: a double-edged sword
- You slightly altered the topic about cosmetic surgery which is NOT completely synonymous with plastic surgery. That is, these two terms are not exactly interchangeable.
The first sentence could have started like this:
Although beauty is only skin-deep, people have a great tendency……….
Dear Sasan,
For some reasons, I cannot activate the Edit feature for the visors. So, sufficient attention before hitting the Submit button is advised.
Today, people have a great tendency for plastic surgeries and care about their appearances considerably. I believe that this voracious appetite could have pros and cons at the same time but people should try to take advantage of the positive aspects mostly.
On the one hand, making changes in the outward appearance could be helpful not only for looking more beautiful but also for boosting confidence. To be more precise, some people are not satisfied with some parts of their appearances such as noses, leaps, etc. In doing so, they go through some surgeries in order to compensate for features in which they are lacking. Moreover, in some occasions, such surgeries would be really beneficial. To exemplify it, some facial features of a person need to be reconstructed owing to an accident. Also, under the influence of a nose job, the risk of sinus infection dwindles. Besides that, some women are suffering from carrying heavy breasts which results in excruciating back pain. So, the gains of cosmetic surgeries ought not to be diminished.
On the other hand, these sorts of surgeries are like double-edged sword and they may have drawbacks as well. For instance, some changes in the God-given organs could bring about some chronic illnesses such as cancer. Also, sometimes, the doctors who perform surgeries are not that professional and it leads to unsatisfactory changes in a person’s appearance.
In conclusion, it seems to me that plastic surgeries could have advantages and disadvantages simultaneously, however wise people could benefit from the positive aspects mostly.