LELB Society’s Essayist: Sasan
Today, many people specially the young((Place this phrase between commas because this part could be removed.)) have a special passion about((passion for)) some specific brands. So, they prefer to adhere to these products compared to the other ones. I personally approve of this phenomenon((phenomenon, – Before subordinate conjunctions of contrast, e.g. “even though”, you should use a comma.)) even though there could be some blind imitation in it which are((is – It must refer to “imitation”.)) going to be discussed in this essay.
Firstly, there are many elements that make a brand so popular. Generally, a customer look((looks)) at the appearance and quality of a product at first. As long as a client is sure about the quality of a brand, there is no need for getting((to get)) around various shopping centers and wasting((waste)) time. So, I countenance finding well-known and acceptable brands in order to make an efficient purchase.
Secondly, the purchasers pay attention to the message that could be conveyed by wearing specific brands. For instance, when a company is producing T-shirts on which a nice sentence is written((written, because you’ve used a comma after “in the society”.)) which attracts a diversity of opinions in the society, it is crystal clear that many people opt for that specific brand because they want to express their beliefs. In doing so, it reveals to me that some logical reasons could support the faithfulness of people to a specific brand.
Nevertheless, although in many cases some plausible thoughts are behind brand loyalty, in some cases((cases,)) people try to pretend to have a special school of thought by following a brand. Also, sometimes, people have weaknesses in their personality traits and they((Omit “they”.)) try to build up acceptable features in their characters by supporting a brand. In this case, I believe that these sorts((this sort – You’re referring to one special group of people.)) of people are just some mimics and their behavior is not justifiable at all.
To recap, it seems to me that there exist many reasons that((why / for which)) people go for brand loyalty, however((loyalty; however,)) people should be conscious of some imitators who want to hide their own characters.
- Cohesion and Cohesion (17% of 25%)
- You should learn more about the accurate use of punctuation and pronouns.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (19% of 25%)
- Lexical Resources (17% of 25%)
- Task Achievement (25% of 25%)
- Word Count: “306” Excellent!