IELTS Writing Task 1 Body Weight
The graphs below summarize the weight measurements of people living in Charlestown in 1955 and 2015.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
LELB Society’s Student: Sasan
Paying attention to the year 1995, people who were ideal in terms of weight((people whose body weights were ideal)) constituted more than 50 percent of the population. To be more elaborate, in the 20-29 age bracket, almost 70 percent of people were ideal((had ideal body weights)) but it decreased approximately to 50 percent in the 60-69 age group. Moreover, only were the minority of people obese, most of whom were living in the sixth decade of their life. Furthermore, underweight dwellers made up 30 percent of people in the 20-29 age bracket and it fell slightly among middle aged((middle-aged)) people and rose gradually when it came to the oldest people. Also, making up almost 20 percent of people in the 30-49 age group, overweight people were not((the proportion of overweight people was not)) tangible among other groups of people.
Turning to the year 2015, the older people were, the more obese they became((this part is grammatically incorrect.)). In fact, 60 percent of people aged 60-69 years were obese as opposed to the 20-29 age bracket in which the rate of obesity was next to zero. What is more, almost 70 percent of the youngest group were ideal((had ideal body weights)), however it declined to 5 percent among the oldest group. Interestingly, underweight people were mostly included in the two latter groups, making up less than 20 percent of people in their own groups((That is not correct.)). Last but not least, overweight people had considerable numbers in the 30-49 and 60-69 age group((groups)),((no comma is required)) accounting for,((no comma required)) roughly,((no comma is required)) 20 percent of people in their own groups.
- Visual Data Analysis:
- At first glace, it becomes clear that unlike the year of 2015, in 1955, a high percentage of people across the five age brackets, to be more precise, approximately 70%, had ideal body weights. Surprisingly, in this year, none of the people in the third and forth decades of their lives were obese. Conversely, the rate of obesity followed a growing trend across the age brackets consecutively in 2015.
- Choice of Words (Diction): Great!
- Coherence: Excellent
- Cohesion: Above average
- Grammar: Good
- Reasoning: Good; however, you could write between the lines and come to some further conclusions.
- Word Count: “282” You have used too many words in your report. It should contain around 150 words.
- You have 20 minutes for this task.
- Your summary should consist of at least 150 words.
- The IELTS Writing Task 1 is an information transfer task, which requires you to write an accurate account of some information presented in graphic form, for example, a graph, table, or some form of a pictorial representation of data.
- Your addressee is a university lecturer.
- It is important to read the instructions closely to specify the main focus of your report.
Planning Your Task
- Make sure to spend around 2 to 3 minutes planning and organizing your answer. That is to say, do NOT start writing immediately. During this pre-writing time, try to analyze the delineated data carefully.
- In the exam, you can write notes on the illustration and in a clearly defined space on the front of your answer paper.
- Your notes could be in abbreviated forms in order to save time. Remember that your notes are personal and won’t be assessed.
- During planning, decide which significant details will be discussed to reflect the task requirements. For example:
- The apex (high points) or base (low points)
- Steady pace or rate of changes
- Fluctuation in the rate of changes
- While planning your task, you should determine the time period so that the correct tense is used.
How to Start Writing?
- It is recommended that you start your IELTS Writing Task 1 with a restatement of the keywords in the instructions. In so doing, you will give a brief description of the details in the pictorial form.
- You should write one clear sentence to introduce the illustration.
- After your general description, you should write one or two sentences to indicate the relationships between the data or demonstrate a trend.
- Write more sentences to provide a more in-depth account of the data that transcends your general statement.
How to Analyze the Graph?
- In your second paragraph, you should give a detailed account of the visual data reflected in the graph or chart.
- Do not try to describe the graph in a linear or sequential order. Instead, you must develop a nonlinear and profound understanding of the data.
Providing an Overview
- Since the data with a pictorial form are not accessible to your addressee, who is a university lecturer, you ought to provide a brief overview of the general trends and patterns to make sense of the whole data. Remember that IELTS Writing Task 1 is NOT an essay. Instead, it’s just a summary of some visual data. Accordingly, the existence of a conclusion is not necessary; however, it is strongly recommended to give an overall overview of the data.
- You can write your summary either in British or American English style, but you need to be consistent throughout your summary.
- As it is typical of any writing task, it is strongly recommended that you proofread your own report for possible mistakes.
Recognizing Similarities and Differences
- Mention the actual data (numbers, percentages, dates, units, etc.) in your comparison as long as the statistics are in line with the point you are trying to make.
Verbs to Describe the Data
- Decline ⬇
- Decrease ⬇
- Fall ⬇
- Grow ⬆
- Increase ⬆
- Plummet ⬇
- Rise ⬆
Intensifiers to Describe the Data
- In the same way (making comparisons)
- Similarly (making comparisons)
Another Dominant Structure
|There||Article||Adjective||Descriptive Noun||Prepositional Phrase (in what)|