IELTS Writing Task 2 Illegal Immigration
IELTS Writing Task 2 Illegal Immigration
Topic:
Nowadays, violating immigration laws, many people try to enter developed countries illegally, which is strongly frowned upon by the destination countries.
Why do you think the rate of illegal immigration is so high these days?
Essayist: Sasan
Today, the number of illegal immigrants from underdeveloped countries is on the rise. I personally believe not only the frustrating conditions((It’s better to refer to the underdeveloped countries again.)) but also revolutions in people’s mind has increased the number of illegal immigrants.
First of all, there is a nice saying((there is a nice saying that reads: “if you…”)) “if you cannot stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. These days, there are some underdeveloped countries worldwide whose people are under pressures((under pressure)) not only financially but also emotionally. In fact, in such countries, there is no balance between ordinary residents’ outcomes and incomes.((income and expenditure)) Typically, there are some people who have become affluent unexpectedly because rules and legislations((Legislation is uncountable.)) have not been able to stabilize the society. As a result, there is a social difference((Social divide is a better term.)) in which there are two groups of people, one of which is working for peanuts and the second one((It’s better to use “and the other one” because you have not used “the first one”)) is in the money. Consequently, some people cannot stomach these situations, either they are educated or illiterate((whether they are educated or illiterate)). So, they make a decision to enter developed countries under any circumstances in the search of((in search of)) a better life.
Moreover, people in underdeveloped countries have internalized some customs and traditions which are getting meaningless to new generations((the young / new generation)). In fact, youngsters are coping with many constrictions in their lives, most of which are hindering them from making progress in the competitive life. On the other hand, the young blood have some knowledge about cosmopolitan societies in the developed countries((in developed countries)) in which people are flourishing without any confinements((Confinement)). So, the young strive to break out of their comfort zones((comfort zone)) and leave their own countries and their traditions. Also, it is self-explanatory that legal immigration laws do not((legal immigration does not. Note that we don’t have legal laws)) welcome all people in the globe and some have to go through illegal choices.
In conclusion, from my vantage point, non-promising situations along with some cultural confinements bring about the growth of illegal immigrations((immigration)).
Error Correction:
- Coherence: Perfect
- Cohesion: Above average
- Grammar: You have made some blatant mistakes, unexpected of you!
- Reasoning: Excellent
- Essay Analysis: Unified and focused
- Word Count: “302” Great!
General Information
- The Academic Writing test takes 60 minutes. It consists of two tasks. The recommended time for each task is: 20 minutes on Task 1, and 40 minutes on Task 2. Between the two tasks of your Academic Writing Test, you are free to start from the one you like.
- Your essay should include at least 250 words.
- In this task, your ability to respond to a topic, generate relevant ideas, outline problems and offer solutions to the problems based on your experience and reasoning is measured.
- IELTS Writing Task 2 falls into the category of argumentative essays.
- IELTS Writing Task 2, compared to IELTS Writing Task 1, carries more weight in scoring.
- Your reader is an educated person with only general knowledge of the topic.
Today, the number of illegal immigrants from underdeveloped countries is on the rise. I personally believe not only the frustrating conditions but also revolutions in people’s mind has increased the number of illegal immigrants.
First of all, there is a nice saying “if you cannot stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”. These days, there are some underdeveloped countries worldwide whose people are under pressures not only financially but also emotionally. In fact, in such countries, there is no balance between ordinary residents’ outcomes and incomes. Typically, there are some people who have become affluent unexpectedly because rules and legislations have not been able to stabilize the society. As a result, there is a social difference in which there are two groups of people, one of which is working for peanuts and the second one is in the money. Consequently, some people cannot stomach these situations, either they are educated or illiterate. So, they make a decision to enter developed countries under any circumstances in the search of a better life.
Moreover, people in underdeveloped countries have internalized some customs and traditions which are getting meaningless to new generations. In fact, youngsters are coping with many constrictions in their lives, most of which are hindering them from making progress in the competitive life. On the other hand, the young blood have some knowledge about cosmopolitan societies in the developed countries in which people are flourishing without any confinements. So, the young strive to break out of their comfort zones and leave their own countries and their traditions. Also, it is self-explanatory that legal immigration laws do not welcome all people in the globe and some have to go through illegal choices.
In conclusion, from my vantage point, non-promising situations along with some cultural confinements bring about the growth of illegal immigrations.