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Writing Practice on Workaholism with Correction

Published on April 12th, 2019 | Last updated on May 31st, 2019 by | Category: IELTS Essay Writing Practice | No Comments on Writing Practice on Workaholism with Correction | 120 Views | Reading Time: 5 minutes

Writing Practice on Workaholism

Writing practice on workaholism

What is workaholism?

Workaholism is the idea of intentionally choose to work more that normal hours per week. The people how are affected by this idea called workaholic. It’s clear that we talk about people who choose by his own decision to work a lot. Therefore, people who are forced to work extra hours by law or under pressure are excluded in this category.

In my idea workaholic can be developed in people who love their job. Otherwise, if someone doesn’t like his/her job and still is a workaholic, may suffer a mental disorder.
Workaholic may be considered as a remedy for those who have social/private problems in their house or public places that prefer to spend their time at work rather than with their families or being in society. Also workaholic can be a choice for those who have low-paid jobs in order to compensate their shortage.

of intentionally choosing
the people how are ➡ … who are
called workaholic ➡ are called workaholic
are excluded in this category ➡ … from this category
* workaholic can be developed in people ➡ workaholism can develop / can be developed in people
* Workaholic may be considered as a remedy ➡ Workaholism can be considered a remedy
* compensate their shortage ➡ compensate for their shortage

Mental problems caused by workaholism

It mostly depends on what kind of job we are talking about. For example, if the job is stressful, exposing workaholic to extra hours of stress can cause serious mental problems. In contrary, jobs that are not stressful and the workaholic likes it, might not cause any mental problems. Even it can bring benefit for the workaholic because he/she receives mental-reward and arises self-satisfaction feeling in his/herself.
* in contrary ➡ on the contrary
* arises self-satisfaction feeling ➡ … trigger / generate self-satisfaction in

Physical problems caused by workaholism

As opposed to the mental problems, the physical problems are equal for all types of workaholic, whether they like or dislike their job. Even if the job seems not harmful in physical aspect, the workaholic person have shortened the rest or exercise time which could have improved their health status.
* Put “the” before “workaholic” for it to mean “workaholic people”.
* the workaholic person have ➡ … has

Productivity and workaholism

Workaholism is considered as opposed to productivity most of the time. But, I want to talk about specific people who need long enough time to deepen in their activity and concentrate in their on-going process to accomplish their task. These people prefer to work continuously till accomplishment of one sub-project even if it lasts overnight.
* Be considered something / be regarded as something
* on-going ➡ ongoing

Teleworking and workaholism

Teleworking! An attractive method at first sight.

It has boon and bane for sure. First and foremost, employees can take advantage of their own autonomy and arbitrary time management. Also, they can work in their pajamas and slippers and employees do not have to tolerate traffic jams and pay for transportation. Interestingly, companies can harvest benefits as well. For instance, employers can hire people from all over the world and there would not be any limitations for employing the talented workforce.
Nevertheless, bringing work and personal life together is a bit perplexing. In fact, in many cases, people cannot separate themselves from their computer and sometimes, they end up spilling their soup on the keyboard. In a simple word, they are more likely to become workaholics.

* limitations for ➡ limitations to / on
* In a simple word ➡ in simple words

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