Generating Electricity IELTS Writing Task 1

Generating Electricity IELTS Writing Task 1

Source of Visual Data: www.ieltsessentials.com

Instructions:

The diagrams below show the process of generating electricity from wave power.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

LELB Society’s Student: Mohsen

The two pictures((diagrams)) demonstrates((demonstrate)) new energy system((a new energy production system)) and process of generating electricity from wave power .((power.))
System structure for producting((producing)) electricity from wave power contains chamber ,((a chamber,)) turbine ,((turbine,)) cliff , electricity , air and sea wave .((wave.))
The picture a((Diagram A)) indicates when the sea wave hits the sea wall and this time input((pushes)) air flow become((toward)) to rotation((rotate)) turbine blade((blades)) after ward((afterward)) mechanical energy change((changes)) to electrical energy .
In picture b((Diagram B)) display((it is displayed)) when the sea wave recedes the cliff and like wise((likewise)) air flow continuous((continues)) between turbine blade .((blades.))
There was considerable production rule of sea wave.((The whose sentence is ambiguous.))
To conclude ,((To conclude,)) new energy system include((including)) ( solar(((solar)) energy , wave power energy , wind energy
In addition , new energy system is better than process of((the process of)) generating electricity from fossil fuels
(oil , gas , coal , etc((etc.)) )
This energy called green energy((green.))

Examiner’s Notes:

• Visual Data: Noun
  /ˈdeɪ.tə/ US /-ţə/
  group noun [U]
  information, especially facts or numbers, collected for examination and consideration and used to help decision-making, or information in an electronic form that can be stored and processed by a computer:
  The data was/were collected by various researchers.“>Data Analysis:
  • This is a process essay and you should have focused on the detailed process of generating electricity, which you did not.
  •  There are some paragraphs that are too short.
  • Your concluding paragraph is quite irrelevant to the diagrams. In a process essay, you don’t necessarily need to write a concluding paragraph.
  • There is another short paragraph after the concluding paragraph, which is wrong.
  • You must be more careful about punctuation marks.
• Lexical Resources (12 of 25%)
• Task Achievement (8 of 25%)
• Coherence and Cohesion (10 of 25%)
• Grammatical Range & Accuracy (8 of 25%)
• Word Count: “145” slightly below the expected number of words, i.e. “150”

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