Work Performance – IELTS Writing Task 1
Instruction: The graph above shows factors affecting work performance in various age ranges in a percentile scale.
The chart provide (provides) information about factors affecting work performance for two age groups. In a percentage scale (… for two age groups in a percentage scale.)
By contrast, (You should not start your first supporting paragraph with this conjunction) team spirit is approximately 60 percent for both of group (both groups) also chance for personal development is so important (more important because you have used ‘than’) for young workers than older workers. We can see immediately job security is not so important for the age between 45 and 60 but for young people is approximately 40 percent. Both of group are equal in work environment. It’s clear that promotion prospects are significant for aged 18 to 30 but as you see this factor is not so important for the other group. Furthermore, factor of competent boss and job satisfaction are on opposite. However, the percentage of money for the first group is more than second group. Overall, the figures show (the graph shows) that most of factors are so important for young workers than (in comparison to/with) older workers.
- This graph shows, indicates, delineates,
- The introductory paragraph should be longer than this, giving the reader, who is a university lecturer, a general view of the whole graph.
- The first paragraph (the introductory paragraph) is too short, while the second paragraph is too long.
- Team spirit and work environment are approximately the same in the two groups.
- Personal development, young 85, old, 40
- Personal development and promotion factors are noticeably higher in the younger group
- You could make some inferences about the clear-cut distinctions between the younger and the older groups, e.g. by talking about the personal development, working environment, etc. factors.