IELTS Essay on Generation Gap for Band 3.5

IELTS Essay on Generation Gap

IELTS Essay on Generation Gap

Topic

In modern societies, it appears that grandparents and grandchildren do not spend enough quality time with each other.
Discuss the main reasons for this social phenomenon.

IELTS Candidate: Parastu

Grandparents are the most influential person in every family. They love their grandchildren endlessly. They have a lot ofexperiences which are helpful for their grandchildren.

• person :arrow: persons / people / members
• a lot of
• Your introduction is too short and it lacks any thesis statement. You have not clarified your position to the essay question.

Unfortunately, in modern society, grandparents do not spend enough quality time with their grandchildren. these days, kids spends most of their time on playing video games, instead of learning from grandparent’s experiences and talking with them. Although ,sometimes kids don’t accept their ideas because there is a generation gap in between but still kids can learn a lot of things from their grandparents such as how to have a respectable life and how to make a good behavior and be a good person.

• This paragraph should be used as your introduction because it includes a good background statement.
• moder societies
• These days,
• spend
• their grandparents’ experiences
• Although sometimes
• kids :arrow: young children – “Kid” is too informal.
• Do not – no contractions in your essay
• their ideas :arrow: their grandparents’ ideas
• show / exhibit good behavior

Sometimes, parents don’t dedicate enough time to spend with the grandparents because they are so busy with daily routines, so kids are deprived of spending more time with their grandparents.
as parents, we should not take this opportunity from our kids. kids need to spend enough time with their grandparents. Nobody can replace grandparent in kid’s lives.

• do not dedicate enough time to their grandparents
• Kids  with a capital K.
• grandparents
• kids’ lives
• You have not written any concluding paragraph.

Assessment

• Band score = 3.5 of 9
•  Analysis:
• Cohesion and Cohesion (13% of 25%)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (13% of 25%)
• Lexical Resources (16% of 25%)
• Task Achievement (14% of 25%)
• Spelling: Good
• Punctuation: Poor
• Word Count: “165” This is by far shorter than the expected length of an essay, i.e. at least 250 words.

Use the comment form below and ask any question you might have about this essay and its assessment.