City Life IELTS Writing Task 2
City Life IELTS Writing Task 2
These days, more and more, people are leaving rural areas in search of decent jobs in urban societies. What could be the consequences of this broad trend? What solutions can you provide?
Essayist: Sasan
Nowadays, a lot of people immigrate to urban areas in order to get handsome jobs. Although it is an opportunity for job seekers, it has some detrimental effects on the society. This essay deals with these issues and also some solutions are proposed for the betterment of this condition.
Excessive movement of people to capital cities gives rise to many problems. First of all, the urban areas become crowded unexpectedly. So, traffic jam, air pollution, noisy atmosphere, and the lack of accommodation are some of the issues that jeopardize standard of living in urban areas noticeably. Moreover, the price of everything, especially rent prices, goes up in capital cities and it brings about a gap between dwellers of big cities and people in rural areas in terms of social etiquette and manners. From psychological vantage point, in such condition, people in capital cities have a sense of superiority over others and in other words, big cities become the center of attention which is intolerable to the people who live in the country.
Nevertheless, some strategies can be adopted to keep the balance of populations in different cities. For instance, establishing firms and factories in rural areas can encourage the job seekers to stay in their own regions. Also, the government can offer subsidies to business owners to found branches in the countryside. In doing so, most of people prefer to stay in their own cities.
In conclusion, movements of the young to the urban areas for finding a job induces some problems, however some steps can be implemented so as to prevent these issues.
Video of IELTS essay on city life
Assessment:
- Coherence: Good
- Cohesion: Above average
- Grammar: Good
- Reasoning:
- In your second paragraph, you have tried to convince the reader that there must be a gap between city and country dwellers in terms of social etiquette due to expenditure fluctuations. I don’t see any strong logical link between high costs of life and acceptable social behaviors. Even the following paragraph about city dwellers’ superiority is not germane to the concept of social etiquette.
- Essay Analysis:
- Your conclusion is rather too short and unspecific.
- Word Count: “264” Excellent!
Thank you so much for your comprehensive comments.
You’re so welcome.
Nowadays, a lot of people immigrate to urban areas in order to get handsome jobs. Although it is an opportunity for job seekers, it has some detrimental effects on the society. This essay deals with these issues and also some solutions are proposed for the betterment of this condition.
Excessive movement of people to capital cities gives rise to many problems. First of all, the urban areas become crowded unexpectedly. So, traffic jam, air pollution, noisy atmosphere, and the lack of accommodation are some of the issues that jeopardize standard of living in urban areas noticeably. Moreover, the price of everything, especially rent prices, goes up in capital cities and it brings about a gap between dwellers of big cities and people in rural areas in terms of social etiquette and manners. From psychological vantage point, in such condition, people in capital cities have a sense of superiority over others and in other words, big cities become the center of attention which is intolerable to the people who live in the country.
Nevertheless, some strategies can be adopted to keep the balance of populations in different cities. For instance, establishing firms and factories in rural areas can encourage the job seekers to stay in their own regions. Also, the government can offer subsidies to business owners to found branches in the countryside. In doing so, most of people prefer to stay in their own cities.
In conclusion, movements of the young to the urban areas for finding a job induces some problems, however some steps can be implemented so as to prevent these issues.
Dear Sasan,
Thank you so much for submitting your IELTS essay on city life to us for assessment and evaluation.
Please use at least 250 words.