Table of Contents / فهرست مطالب
Some people believe that children should not read so many imaginary story books and fables because this activity is such a waste of time. Instead, children should pursue more useful and serious activities.
To what extent do you agree or disagree on this argument?
Many children under age seven enjoy listening to their parents tell and narrate them stories before sleep. Some of them are more interested in books and spend more time with story books and fables. Many people including me find books a fair and practical way to open the gates of wisdom and knowledge for children, in contrast, many others believe that storybooks are a waste of time.
- under the age of seven
- either storybooks or story books
- The first sentence seems to be irrelevant to the main question even used as a general background.
- open the gates of wisdom and knowledge to children
- The keyword of “reading” storybooks has been disregarded. Children might look at their pictures, play with them, but not READ them.
- The feature of “imaginary or unreal” storybooks has not been addressed in the first paragraph. An imaginary storybook could be totally different from a serious one.
Some people have this opinion and children should pursue more useful and practical activities and hobbies such as playing with other children at the same age outdoors, or doing some puzzles and enhancing their critical thinking by doing math and brain tricks. However, it is an ample fact that these activities cannot be suitable and enjoyable for all the kids and every child has his/her interests.
- hold / express / state / offer this opinion that
- …, such as playing with other children …, doing some puzzles, and enhancing their … (punctuation marks)
- brain tricks or brain exercises?
- kids – Children is better than kids.
- obvious fact / ample evidence
Moreover, recent studies showed that stories and fables can boost children’s imagination and expand their attitude toward life. The moral of the stories and prepare them for their following challenges and dilemmas in life. For example, I myself was a child who could spend hours reading books and I can still notice its positive efficiency throughout my life. However, it is undeniable that there should be no excess in any activity and overindulgence has no beneficial income. Therefore, we should take care of the children to spend a sensible amount of time on their preferred hobbies, e.g. reading story books and fables.
- recent studies show that
- Major mistake: You’re writing about stories, while imaginary or fictional stories are meant.
- expand attitude? = improve attitude makes more sense.
- What is the subject of “prepare”?
- “income” in this context is appropriate if used only figuratively and indirectly.
- to spend = so that they would spend
Although some people assume that reading stories to children has no positive income and they should pursue and follow more beneficial activities, fables and stories can have many advantages for children and their themes and morals would inspire them throughout their lives.
- “Children read stories” is different from “reading stories to children”.
- offer / give many advantages to children.
- Morals or moral?
- and = because / since / for example
Analysis and scoring
- About the main question, you’ve not understood it accurately.
- Cohesion and coherence: 17 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 17 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 19 of 25%
- Task achievement: 16 of 25%
- Spelling: Great
- Punctuation: Average
- Word Count: “ 277 Words” – Excellent
- Time on Essay Writing: “ 40 Minutes” – Great
- Band score: 6.5 of 9