Job Satisfaction | An IELTS Essay Sample

Job Satisfaction | An IELTS Essay Sample

Job Satisfaction | An IELTS Essay Sample

Topic

Earning a relatively high salary seems to be the most important factor of job satisfaction in the eyes of young job applicants. To what extent do you agree with this point of view? Please provide reasons for your claim.

The Essayist: Sasan

Nowadays, many people believe “money is the key to end all woes”. So, some regard salary as the most prominent factor for choosing a job. I personally believe the salary is crucial but there are other factors which are the building blocks of a decent job.

To specify my perspective, everybody needs to master a special field not only for making money but also for having a sense of progression. In fact, humans gain energy in their life whenever they feel as if they are making progress in their profession, because they find themselves beneficial in the society. For example, since a university professor enjoys his/her job considerably, he/she goes to the university even after retirement for writing articles and training students.

Moreover, the work atmosphere and also colleagues are some factors whose importance cannot be undermined. To be more specific, people work in their workplace with their colleagues most of the daytime. So, it is self-explanatory that the features of co-workers and the atmosphere of workplace have enough value for choosing a job. Hence, there are many specifications for an ideal job, most of which are as important as salary.

Nevertheless, that is undeniable that money could open a culprit of doors in the life. For instance, affluent people could immigrate to the best countries and also, they can enjoy having the perfect properties and in short, a handsome salary has a great value when it comes to opting for a job.

In conclusion, although a handsome salary could add color to anybody’s life, it seems to me that other items such as workplace and colleagues play vital roles as well.

Error Correction:

• Paragraph 1, Line 2: the key to ending (either a gerund or a noun phrase)
  
• Paragraph 1, Line 2: Omit ‘the’ before ‘salary’.
• Paragraph 2, Line 4: The verb ‘train’ is not appropriate for education at the university level. It’s better to use ‘teach’ or ‘educate’.
• Paragraph 2, Line 5: It’s better to use ‘workplace’ in the singular form.
• paragraph 2, Line 6: The atmosphere of workplace is semantically redundant, just workplace would suffice.
• Paragraph 3, Line 1: culprit of doors? I did not understand this part.
• Paragraph 3, Line 1: in life