Open-ended storytelling on A Night in the Cemetery
Open-ended storytelling on A Night in the Cemetery
The plot of the story
Two old friends, Mike and Richard, bumped into each other after ten years or so in the state of Montana. One decade had changed them dramatically. A sequence of misfortunes had left Mike bankrupt, yet Richard was now a successful business tycoon. In a conversation, Richard agreed to give his old friend, Mike, enough money so that he could pay off all his debts, which was a piece of cake for Richard. Instead, Mike was expected to stay just one night all alone in a deserted and allegedly haunted cemetery on the outskirts of Montana. Surprised by Richard’s generosity, Mike embraced the condition with open arms.
Despite all the stories told by people about the allegedly haunted cemetery, Mike made a gallant decision to go there. He expected to see anything but he said to himself “It is just one night being alone and I can make it very fun and stimulating.” The appointed night arrived and Mike got ready to face the stories.
Mike embraced the condition with open arms, but the main question remained in his mind that why such a weird request. How could spending one night in the cemetery be in exchange for all my debts. Mike was mumbling the same question over and over, but didn’t ask Richard till the right moment. Instead, Mike asked Richard to drive him to the place. Richard accepted and replied to Mike, “Don’t forget to bring what you might need in the cemetery”. They both reached a consensus over the circumstances and said farewell till the commencement of the journey for Mike.
Mike did not take anything with himself and because of cheerfulness, he never thought about the difficulty of this journey. During the night, it was cold, dark and a bit terrifying and Mike got hungry, thirsty and started trembling. He realized that there was a reason behind Richard’s comment “Don’t forget to bring what you might need in the cemetery”. In fact, his mind was preoccupied with the joy of easy money. Although the condition was so harsh, Mike commenced thinking about his method during all stages of his life. Fortunately, Richard was looking at Mike surreptitiously and did not leave him alone. After a couple of hours Richard approached Mike and picked him up at the cemetery. They started talking about wise approaches that can be implemented in life.The point is that Richard wanted to teach Mike that every journey in life needs some ingredients and a recipe. Mike was heavily in debt because he was short-sighted and never heeded details.
Mike did not take anything with himself and because of cheerfulness, he never thought about the difficulty of this journey. During the night, it was cold, dark and a bit terrifying and Mike got hungry, thirsty and started trembling. He realized that there was a reason behind Richard’s comment “Don’t forget to bring what you might need in the cemetery”. In fact, his mind was preoccupied with the joy of easy money. Although the condition was so harsh, Mike commenced thinking about his method during all stages of his life. Fortunately, Richard was looking at Mike surreptitiously and did not leave him alone. After a couple of hours Richard approached Mike and picked him up at the cemetery. They started talking about wise approaches that can be implemented in life.The point is that Richard wanted to teach Mike that every journey in life needs some ingredients and a recipe. Mike was heavily in debt because he was short-sighted and never heeded details.
Flawless writing, topnotch!
Mike embraced the condition with open arms, but the main question remained in his mind that why such a weird request. How spending one night in cemetery can be in exchange for all my debts. Mike was mumbling the same question over and over, but didn’t asked Richard till the right moment. Instead, Mike asked Richard to drive him till the place. Richard accepted and replied to Mike that “don’t forget to bring what you might need in the cemetery”. They both reached a consensus over circumstances and gave farewell till commencement of the journey for Mike.
Feedback
* didn’t asked Richard :arrow: didn’t ask Richard
* to drive him till the place :arrow: to drive him toward / to the place
* give farewell :arrow: say / bade farewell
Despite the all story that people say about allegedly haunted cemetery, Mike made a gallant decision to go there. He expect to see anythings but he says himself “It is just one night being alone and I can make it very fun and stimulating.” The appointed night arrived and Mike get ready to face stories.
Feedback
* Despite all the stories told by people about the allegedly haunted cemetery
* He says himself :arrow: he said to himself
* The tense you use in your narration must be simple past.
Two old friends, Mike and Richard, bumped into each other after ten years or so in the state of Montana. One decade had changed them dramatically. A sequence of misfortunes had left Mike bankrupt, yet Richard was now a successful business tycoon. In a conversation, Richard agreed to give his old friend, Mike, enough money so that he could pay off all his debts, which was a piece of cake for Richard. Instead, Mike was expected to stay just one night all alone in a deserted and allegedly haunted cemetery on the outskirts of Montana. Surprised by Richard’s generosity, Mike embraced the condition with open arms.