IELTS Essay on Morality with Corrective Feedback

IELTS Essay on Morality

IELTS Essay on Morality

Essay Question

How do you feel about taking a sick day at work when you aren’t ill? Have you ever made unauthorized, personal, long-distance phone calls or taken tools or supplies from work? Have you ever falsified a time card or an expense report? If through a computer error, you were given too large a paycheck, would you report it? Do you see such moral choices as black-and-white issues?

Essayist 1

I always suppose , honesty is my duty not a remarkable or special attribute. l determine myself, my character with this, and it was my most important morality factor , which its main reason was only my self satisfaction and personal peace. But after years when I saw the other’s rapid progress and success who were not strict about it, I thought more deeply , and doubted to my legitimacy. Maybe my rigidity ( came from? ) was the result of my obssessiveness. For example, I avioided to pretend better than (what?) who I was, in anyway, education, work,even character or appearence…while in our increasing competitive world, to present our qualifications and to use our special connections, seems to be inevitable.
Anyway, I think the society, makes the most important role in such qualities. In an ill and corrupted socity, all the worthy human values are ruined and destroyed.

Corrections
1. Punctuation marks should be attached to the words. For instance, suppose , –> suppose,
2. You cannot use “determine myself” in this context. That is ambiguous.
3. which its main reason was –> whose main reason was
4. self satisfaction –> self-satisfaction
5. personal peace –> inner peace
6. the other’s rapid progress –> others’ rapid progress
7. doubted to my legitimacy –> doubted my legitimacy
8. avoided to pretend –> avoided pretending
9. increasing competitive world –> increasingly competitive world

10. “Anyway” is not a good conjunction to start your concluding paragraph.

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