IELTS Writing Task 2 | Paparazzi

IELTS Writing Task 2 | Paparazzi

IELTS Writing Task 2 | Paparazzi

Topic:

Wherever high-profile people, such as athletes, entertainers, and other celebrities, show up in public places, a crowd of paparazzi chase them to take photos for commercial purposes. What is your opinion about these independent photographers and their interaction with celebrities?

General Information

• The Academic Writing test takes 60 minutes. It consists of two tasks. The recommended time for each task is: 20 minutes on Task 1, and 40 minutes on Task 2. Between the two tasks of your Academic Writing Test, you are free to start from the one you like.
• Your essay should include at least 250 words.
• You should spend approximately 40 minutes on this task.
• In this task, your ability to respond to a topic, generate relevant ideas, outline problems and offer solutions to the problems based on your experience and reasoning is measured.
• IELTS Writing Task 2 falls into the category of argumentative essays.
• IELTS Writing Task 2, compared to IELTS Writing Task 1, carries more weight in scoring.
• Your reader is an educated person with only general knowledge of the topic.

The Essayist: Arash

Nowadays, many people are following their favorite athletes, singers and other celebrities on social media such as Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. in order to find out what they are doing at the moment, however, there is another group which they prefer to follow them in reality such as paparazzi who try to take some photos of celebrities for commercial purposes. I am inclined to believe that paparazzi should not investigate celebrities’ lives with taking photos because they also have privacy like ordinary people.

First of all, I would like to mention that paparazzi should not take photos from celebrities without permission. Normally, paparazzi take photos in order to sell photographs to newspapers that in this way they do not notice celebrities about their photos. Although I am not an expert, I think their works are against the law and sometimes celebrities will get into troubles because of that photos which are not fair.

For instance, once celebrities are socializing with their friends, someone will take a photo of them and release it on the internet and all kind of media with this title” The Betrayal of the Famous Actor to His Wife “which will go viral simply. What can celebrities do in that terrible situation?

To conclude, in my opinion, governments ought to also set a precise and strict law which forbid taking stealthy photos of anyone not specific person in order to keep people’s rights for their own. Additionally, governments should not forget that all these works come from our culture so they can also prepare a course to teach students how they should interaction with celebrities.

Error Correction:

• Paragraph 1:
  • Line 2: another group which that prefer :arrow: another group that prefer …
  • Line 3: with taking :arrow: by taking
• Paragraph 2:
  • Line 1: take photos from sb :arrow: take photos of sb
  • Lines 1-2: … take photos in order to sell photographs :arrow: … take photos to sell them
  • Line 2: that in this way they do not notice celebrities about their photos
    • I did not get the intended meaning of this part.
  • Line 3: that photos :arrow: those photos
• Paragraph 3:
  • Line 1: all kind of media :arrow: all kinds of media / social media
  • Line 2: You have not used the quotation marks or inverted commas in the correct way. They do not bracket the intended part.
• Paragraph 4:
  • Line 1: … law which forbid :arrow: … law which forbids
  • Last line: should interaction :arrow: should interact with
• Choice of Words (Diction): It’s better to use more formal and academic words.
• Coherence: Good!
• Cohesion: Needs improvement, especially with regard to the use of verbals and relative clauses
• Reasoning: Great!
• Word Count: “270” Great!