IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 20
Last updated on April 3, 2021 by Dr. Mohammad Hossein Hariri Asl in IELTS Essay Writing Practice Category with 6 Comments on IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 20 and 15 Views
IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 20 Topic: Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in the production and preservation of processed foods outweigh the advantages? Most foods that are purchased these days in small stores and supermarkets have chemicals in them as these are used to improve production and ensure the
6 comments on “IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 20”
These days, people are occupied with enormous activities and they have a tight schedule. As a result, they do not have enough time in order to make food and go through processed foods. I personally believe the demerits of these sorts of foods outweigh their merits.
Processed foods incorporate additives and preservatives. Also, it has been proved that these substances could trigger different types of cancers. Moreover, salt is another main ingredient of processed foods because salt preserves these types of food and as everybody knows excessive amount of salt would devastate humans’ bodies. Another negative point about processed foods is that they include saturated fat which is harmful to humans’ bodies.
Line 6: an excessive amount of salt
Line 7: ‘devastate’ is a too strong verb here. I recommend you substitute it for ‘damage’ or ‘harm’.
Most foods that are purchased these days in small stores and supermarkets have chemicals in them as these are used to improve production and ensure the food lasts for longer. However, there are concerns that these have harmful effects. I am inclined to believe that, the potential dangers from this are greater than the benefits we receive.
There are several justifications why chemicals are placed in food. First of all, it is to improve the product to the eye, and this is achieved via the use of colorings which encourage people to purchase food that may otherwise not look tempting to eat. Another reason is to preserve the food. Most of the foods we eat would not actually last that long if it were not for chemicals they contain, so again this is an advantage to the companies that sell food as their products have a longer shelf life.
Line 3: Better to change ‘these’ to ‘these chemicals’.
Line 3: It’s better to omit the comma after ‘believe that’.
Line 3: “Repetition of key words in the introductory paragraph”: ‘this’ changes to e.g. the consumption of processed foods containing unhealthy chemicals.
Line 7: if they did not contain preserving chemicals.
Last Line: products that have a longer shelf life. (Use a relative clause.)
Hi. Thank you so much.