Brain Drain | An IELTS Essay Sample
Brain Drain | An IELTS Essay Sample
Topic:
Recently, there has been an upward trend in the number of immigrants from the Middle East to more developed countries.
Discuss the pros and cons of this social phenomenon and attempt to offer practical solutions to the universal issue of brain drain.
The Essayist: Sasan
These days, 3% of the world’s population are immigrants who have left their countries in search of better job opportunities and life conditions. In fact, the majority of immigrants are well-educated and this phenomenon could have some drawbacks and benefits for different countries.
Throughout history Europe and the United States have always welcome the outflow of other countries’ talents. In doing so, developed countries can benefit from skilled people who have been trained in their own countries. As a result, a huge amount of experts would be injected into some societies and in turn, the immigrants would take advantage of promising situations. To be more specific, there would be more tax payers in the developed countries, thereby higher investment in life conditions. Another positive effect of brain drain is that people could learn different cultures and behaviors. Also, sometimes this phenomenon balances or equalizes the quantities of population in various countries.
Nevertheless, nobody can deny the disadvantages of brain drain. To specify it, most of the time, the losers of this phenomenon are under developed countries whose young generations have left their countries. Consequently, the process of development in under developed countries would be hindered.
It seems to me that poor countries had better implement measures in order to subsist. For instance, better life conditions and welfare should be provided for people especially the skilled ones. Actually, the authorities should keep it in their minds that people always compare themselves with their counterparts in other nations and any discrepancy brings about dissatisfaction.
✅ Error Correction:
- Paragraph 1, Line 1: It’s better to replace “3%” with “three percent”.
- Paragraph 3, Line 2: underdeveloped
- Paragraph 4, Line 2: Keep it in mind that …
I have to appreciate Sasan for this important topic,
I have to thank again from Dr. Hariri for this opportunity have given us to be here.
So as I am just mentioning something and I would like to know it is right or not and hope Dr. Hariri answered me.
and I realized ” taxpayers ” there is no gap between it as written in the text ” tax payers “.
and also the fourth line from the above ” Throughout history Europe and the United States have always welcome the outflow of other countries’ talents.” have to change this way I think ( have always welcomed )
Therefore we would have got :
Throughout history, Europe and the United States have always welcomed the outflow of other countries’ talents.
and also about these:
first line: in search of better job –> in search of a better job
and at last: ” better life conditions and welfare should be provided for people … ”
would be better to change ( better living conditions and welfare … )
I hope the author of this article will not be upset about my explanations.
Thanks for your precious comment.
1. In Longman Dictionary, you can see we have the term, “tax payer” with a space. However, taxpayer is also correct.
2. Welcome vs. welcomed: It’s preferably better to write “welcomed” as correctly mentioned by you to differentiate it from the adjective form. Thanks a lot.
3. It’s in search of better job opportunities, so it is correct by itself.
4. As correctly pointed out by you, “living conditions” makes a better collocation. However, “life conditions” is not wrong.
Thank you so much for your particular attention.
These days, 3% of the world’s population are immigrants who have left their countries in search of better job opportunities and life conditions. In fact, the majority of immigrants are well-educated and this phenomenon could have some drawbacks and benefits for different countries.
Throughout history Europe and the United States have always welcome the outflow of other countries’ talents. In doing so, developed countries can benefit from skilled people who have been trained in their own countries. As a result, a huge amount of experts would be injected into some societies and in turn, the immigrants would take advantage of promising situations. To be more specific, there would be more tax payers in the developed countries, thereby higher investment in life conditions. Another positive effect of brain drain is that people could learn different cultures and behaviors. Also, sometimes this phenomenon balances or equalizes the quantities of population in various countries.
Nevertheless, nobody can deny the disadvantages of brain drain. To specify it, most of the time, the losers of this phenomenon are under developed countries whose young generations have left their countries. Consequently, the process of development in under developed countries would be hindered.
It seems to me that poor countries had better implement measures in order to subsist. For instance, better life conditions and welfare should be provided for people especially the skilled ones. Actually, the authorities should keep it in their minds that people always compare themselves with their counterparts in other nations and any discrepancy brings about dissatisfaction.
Great job, thank you!
Thank you for the correction
It’s all my pleasure.