IELTS Essay on Internet Addiction with Full Essay & Analysis
Last updated on April 12, 2022 by Dr. Mohammad Hossein Hariri Asl in IELTS Essay Writing Practice Category with 4 Comments on IELTS Essay on Internet Addiction with Full Essay & Analysis, 53 Views and Reading Time: 7 minutes
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Dr. Mohammad Hossein Hariri Asl is an English and Persian instructor, researcher, inventor, author, blogger, SEO expert, website developer, and the creator of LELB Society. He's got a PhD in TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). Study our guest posting guidelines for authors.
Hello Dr.Hariri ,
about the writing points, I wanted to ask a question. I didn’t get this part of your analysis:
((You have not specified your position to the question clearly. Your topic sentence in your first paragraph is not definitive.))
I think that I have specified my position.
I myself, find both social media and internet very useful. Not to be addicted to it but I really use them in everyday life like chatting my friends and my family, studying, learning and searching about everything I want and so on.
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In your introductory paragraph, there are some errors that have complicated your introduction:
1. You have not repeated the keywords from the essay question. Repetition of keywords is a crucial factor in essay writing. Instead, you’re writing about the usefulness of the internet, which is implied keywords (do harm or do good).
2. To have more information about topic sentence, you might like to read this page:
https://lelb.net/topic-sentence-features-academic-articles/
3. The incorrect use of conjunctions in your first paragraph has made it rather confusing. For example:
I myself, find both social media and internet very useful. Not to be addicted to it but I really use them in everyday life
This part is somehow ambiguous and ungrammatical, and therefore misleading, especially when you use “but” to show contrast, while you are on the same side about the usefulness of the internet.
4. Before your topic sentence, you need to supply the reader with a kind of general background about the topic being discussed. You have brusquely referred to the central idea without repeating the keywords, hence making the paragraph somehow confusing.
Yeah, I have gotten the point now.
Thanks.
You’re very welcome.