IELTS – TOEFL Preparation Course | Session 25
Topic
These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?
These days, brutality and violence is being shown on telly and consequently, children are influenced negatively. To specify it, these days the world is really turbulent. On one hand, some groups are competing with each other and it causes stress and also in some parts of the globe nations are fighting against each other. As a result, journalists, film producers etc. try to describe the situation by their products. However, it is not fair to put the blame on film makers and newspapermen and the problem should be addressed deeply. In fact, authorities in all over the world should try to pacify the globe and put a damper on the violence and sadism. In doing so, the world would be tranquil and calm and television programs never would go through frustrating subjects.
These days, brutality and violence is being shown on telly and consequently, children are influenced negatively. To specify it, these days the world is really turbulent. On one hand, some groups are competing with each other and it causes stress and also in some parts of the globe nations are fighting against each other. As a result, journalists, film producers etc. try to describe the situation by their products. However, it is not fair to put the blame on film makers and newspapermen and the problem should be addressed deeply. In fact, authorities in all over the world should try to pacify the globe and put a damper on the violence and sadism. In doing so, the world would be tranquil and calm and television programs never would go through frustrating subjects.
Line 1: brutality and violence “are” being shown
Line 2: on the one hand
Line 6: put a damper on violence
I found your essay rather irrelevant. The independent variable is TV and not violence in the society. The latter is supposed to be an offshoot of TV programs, and not the other way around.