IELTS Essay on Science vs. Art
IELTS Essay on Science vs. Art
Topic
Some people believe that, between science and art, the former carries more importance to lead a better life. Others, nevertheless, hold quite the opposite idea.
To which group of people do you belong. Bring reasons to support your claim.
Note. If one side of the argument is taken, you should argue for the other side.
IELTS Candidate: Sassan
Although art can exert influence in the culture and history of a nation, I suppose that science exceeds art in importance, when it comes to handling your life.
Your introduction is rather short. It’s recommended to provide a background statement as well.
These days, science paves the way for many development. To be more elaborate, healing different illnesses, for example, needs manufacturing novel medicines and inventing new equipment in order to cure diseases. In other words, public health, which is the backbone of humans’ life, requires intermittent effort in science. Moreover, there are a plethora of dangers which jeopardize humans. For instance, global warming certainly put humans on the verge of extinction and the only remedy is digging into science in order to find better strategies for the rest of life. Therefore, it is undeniable that human beings cannot continue their life without being under the shelter of science.
- much development
- there is a
- can certainly put
Furthermore, it is easier to make money if you have specialties in science. In fact, there are different fields relevant to science that can help you to get hired in a company and make progress. For example, when it comes to engineering science, there exist a lot of of firms such as, petrochemical companies, aerospace organizations, etc., which have many vacancies for the people who have experience and competence in science. Believe it or not, today, when it comes to the university field, a personal interest is not the only parameter and students should be alert enough about the businesses which are active according to their fields. Nevertheless, I suppose that science is included deeply in various businesses and it is more facile to handle your life as per scientific fields.
- become employed by – recommended
- personal interest
- university fields
- be alert to sth
- Facile, with this meaning, should be used only before nouns.
To wrap it up, it is understandable that art is valuable, however it seems to me that science takes precedence over art for having a better life.
- however,
- to have a better life
Assessment
- Band score = 7.5 of 9
- Analysis:
- Cohesion and Cohesion (24% of 25%)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy (18% of 25%)
- Lexical Resources (23% of 25%)
- Task Achievement (22% of 25%)
- Spelling: Great
- Punctuation: Good
- Word Count: “292” Excellent!
Use the comment form below and ask any question you might have about this essay and its assessment.
5. … undeniablethat -> undeniable that
1. … many development -> many developments
2. a lot of of -> a lot of
3. a personal interest -> personal interest
4. You need to add a comma after “however” in the last paragraph.
Thank you so much for your correction.