Information Technology | An IELTS Essay Sample
Information Technology | An IELTS Essay Sample
Topic:
Over the last three decades, there have been numerous significant advancements in the field of information technology (IT), for instance the state-of-the-art electronic devices using the internet to connect people.
It is presumed that further future developments in IT are prone to yield unpredictable results that tend to be more negative than positive.
What is your perspective on the future consequences of state-of-the-art technology?
The Essayist: Sasan
Although technological development is valuable, it could have drawbacks as well. For instance, social isolation is one of the outcomes of modern technology. To specify it, a gargantuan amounts of people are preoccupied with their cell phones and laptops and do not have enough time to socialize with other people. Also, the social skills of people are less powerful compared to the past because people do not have enough face-to-face meetings which leads to lack of ability in reading body languages and social cues. Moreover, contemporary technology has harms to public health. To exemplify it, some people are dealing with depression, obesity, poor sleep habits, etc. because of undue usages of new technology. In addition, the level of deceit has been raised. In fact, people, in social media, make profiles in which they are introduced in a way which is far from reality and some naive people are catfished. Also, people who use new technologies such as social media more than enough, have less attention span. To be more precise, people who are online more than 5 hours a day, have difficulties in remembering names and dates.
✅ Error Correction:
- The entire essay is one single paragraph. You are supposed to compartmentalize your essay into at least 3 paragraphs.
- Line 2: a gargantuan amount (singular)
- Line 3: … socialize with the people in the real world because they generally utilize electronic devices for the sake of online socialization
- Line 4: body language is uncountable
- Line 4: I guess ‘interpreting’ is better than ‘reading’ for body language.
- Line 5: Collocation :arrow: do harm to sb/sth
Although technological development is valuable, it could have drawbacks as well. For instance, social isolation is one of the outcomes of modern technology. To specify it, a gargantuan amounts of people are preoccupied with their cell phones and laptops and do not have enough time to socialize with other people. Also, the social skills of people are less powerful compared to the past because people do not have enough face-to-face meetings which leads to lack of ability in reading body languages and social cues. Moreover, contemporary technology has harms to public health. To exemplify it, some people are dealing with depression, obesity, poor sleep habits, etc. because of undue usages of new technology. In addition, the level of deceit has been raised. In fact, people, in social media, make profiles in which they are introduced in a way which is far from reality and some naive people are catfished. Also, people who use new technologies such as social media more than enough, have less attention span. To be more precise, people who are online more than 5 hours a day, have difficulties in remembering names and dates.
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