IELTS Writing Task 2 | Street Vendors
IELTS Writing Task 2 | Street Vendors
Topic:
Although street vendors are an indispensable part of urban economies offering a vast array of goods and services in metropolises, some people believe they should not appear in any civilized society.
To what extent do you concur with this point of view?
General Information
- The Academic Writing test takes 60 minutes. It consists of two tasks. The recommended time for each task is: 20 minutes on Task 1, and 40 minutes on Task 2. Between the two tasks of your Academic Writing Test, you are free to start from the one you like.
- Your essay should include at least 250 words.
- In this task, your ability to respond to a topic, generate relevant ideas, outline problems and offer solutions to the problems based on your experience and reasoning is measured.
- IELTS Writing Task 2 falls into the category of argumentative essays.
- IELTS Writing Task 2, compared to IELTS Writing Task 1, carries more weight in scoring.
- Your reader is an educated person with only general knowledge of the topic.
Essayist: Karim
Nowadays, in domestic economy, there has been rife for selling variety of products and goods by many distinct ways such as selling via malls and stores, online selling via internet and selling by street vendors. Street vendors, individuals who sell many ranges of goods with high level quality to low level, usually sell their goods in crowd places of city or town. They rather sell portable and small goods with logical and low prices rather than big stores and malls. So their priority is satisfying customers to purchase them.
It seems that amount of street vendors increased somewhat in modern cities because majority of people have tendency with purchasing from them therefore they can be survive and tolerate in awesome circumstances of economy. If modern cities didn’t have any problems about unemployment then street vendors perhaps had disappeared yet. They have not any insurance, job satisfaction, promising hope and supporting by government. So it is obvious that the most significant reason in choosing this trade as a vocation is lack of job position in economy system.
In my opinion, street vendors occupation is not a bona fide and promising job whereby they can not as well afford their household. I think, this is not possible and acceptable to eliminate them completely in modern cities and towns. Until mentioned problems have existed so they have to eke with this job and play a role in selling. Government can gather them in specific regions in any city with at least facilities for selling goods and construct weekly markets in each region with distinctive days in each week and survey or trace their proficiency by domestic people.
Error Correction:
- Paragraph 1:
- In your introductory paragraph, you did not make it clear whether you concur with the standpoint stated in the topic or not.
- Line 1: there has been rife for :arrow: selling a variety of products is rife
- Remember that if something is rife, usually it must be unpleasant.
- Line 1: a variety of
- Line 1: in many distinct ways
- Line 1: in malls and stores
- Line 2: It’s better to use “the” before “internet”.
- Line 2: It’s better to use “range” in a singular form.
- Line 2: from high to low quality levels
- Line 3: crowded places
- Line 3: of / in cities or towns
- Line 3: at reasonable and low prices
- Line 4: satisfying :arrow: motivating / stimulating, persuading, etc. sb to do sth
- Line 4: purchase them
- It’s better to use the exact words instead of a pronoun because the last sentence is an independent one.
- Paragraph 2:
- Line 1: the number of street vendors has increased
- Line 1: have a tendency to purchase goods from them
- “Purchase” is a transitive verb.
- Line 2: tolerate the awesome circumstances
- “Tolerate” is a transitive verb.
- Line 2: didn’t have :arrow: did not have
- You should not use contractions in your essay.
- Line 3: had disappeared :arrow: would disappear
- Conditional Sentences Type II
- Line 3: promising hope
- Redundant
- Line 3: supporting :arrow: support
- Line 4: economic system
- Line 4: on distinctive days
- Paragraph 3:
- Line 1: afford their household needs
- Line 1: can not :arrow: cannot
- Line 2: eke out this job
- Line 3: the government
- Line 3: constructing
- To be in parallel with “selling”
- Choice of Words (Diction): Good
- Coherence: Below average
- Cohesion: Average
- Reasoning: Good but not organized
- Word Count: “273” Great!
paragraph two line 1-> The majority of
paragraph two line 2-> they can be survive !! –> they can survive
paragraph two line 3-> they don’t have any insurance
last paragraph –> the above-mentioned problems OR the aforementioned problems
Good points, thank you!
The first two of them were already made by Arash, though.
hi sasan. Thank you for your corrections
Hello,
Thank you so much, Mr. Karim,
In paragraph 1 line 1: in domestic economy ➡ in the domestic economy, selling variety ➡ selling a variety, line 2: with a high-level quality to a low level.
In paragraph 2 line 1: majority of people have tendency ➡ the majority of people have a tendency (you need to use an article), from them therefore ➡ from them, therefore.
In paragraph 2 line 2: can be survive ➡ can survive, of economy ➡ of (an/the) economy, problems about ➡ problems with
In paragraph 2 line 3: by government ➡ by the government
In paragraph 2 line 4: reason in ➡ reason for, in economy ➡ in the economy.
In paragraph 3 line 1: I think, ➡ I think
? I do admire your concerted effort to perform peer-assessment.
As you know, teaching is the best way to learn something.
Hello. Thank you so much.
You’re quite welcome.
Hello arash. Thank you for your corrections
Hello, Karim. You are welcome.
Nowadays, in domestic economy, there has been rife for selling variety of products and goods by many distinct ways such as selling via malls and stores, online selling via internet and selling by street vendors. Street vendors, individuals who sell many ranges of goods with high level quality to low level, usually sell their goods in crowd places of city or town. They rather sell portable and small goods with logical and low prices rather than big stores and malls. So their priority is satisfying customers to purchase them.
It seems that amount of street vendors increased somewhat in modern cities because majority of people have tendency with purchasing from them therefore they can be survive and tolerate in awesome circumstances of economy. If modern cities didn’t have any problems about unemployment then street vendors perhaps had disappeared yet. They have not any insurance, job satisfaction, promising hope and supporting by government. So it is obvious that the most significant reason in choosing this trade as a vocation is lack of job position in economy system.
In my opinion, street vendors occupation is not a bona fide and promising job whereby they can not as well afford their household. I think, this is not possible and acceptable to eliminate them completely in modern cities and towns. Until mentioned problems have existed so they have to eke with this job and play a role in selling. Government can gather them in specific regions in any city with at least facilities for selling goods and construct weekly markets in each region with distinctive days in each week and survey or trace their proficiency by domestic people.
Thank you so much!
Note to all: We do not exchange questions and answers about our essay writing activities. Consequently, please use this comment form to pose your questions and respond to them.
Thank you.
P.S. I will have analyzed this essay by the class.