IELTS Essay on Racial Discrimination for Band 4

IELTS Essay on Racial Discrimination

IELTS Essay on Racial Discrimination

Topic

Some people believe that compared to the past racial discrimination has largely diminished among humans, while others maintain that it has even increased.

What is your opinion? Bring reasons to support your claim.

Racial Discrimination
The unjust treatment of different people on their race has so strong and long root in the history of human that in some very long periods of history, people, even victims of racial discrimination, regarded it as nature of creation or something beyond societies’ will.
On of the typical and most important instance about racial discrimination in countries in modern times is south Africa. Like most of other countries in south Africa people in authority believed that white people are superior to people of other races and therefore should be dominant over them. But, the remarkable, strange and surprising point about south Africa was that blacks were the true natives of there and whites were new citizens.
In south Africa, fight of blacks against dominant white minority, under leadership of Nelson Mandela achieved to its aims and white people were obliged to accept the rights of blacks.
In conclusion, I think It is worthy to mention that battle of human against Discrimination started from beginning of creation and will remain part of human responsibility for far future, even will lasting forever.

Assessment

• Band score =  4 of 9
•  Analysis:
• Cohesion and Cohesion (11% of 25%)
• Grammatical Range and Accuracy (8% of 25%)
• Lexical Resources (7% of 25%)
• Task Achievement (5% of 25%)
• Spelling: Good
• Punctuation: Below average
• Word Count: “181”

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