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IELTS Essay on Traffic Jam Complete Feedback

Last updated on July 20, 2022 by in IELTS Essay Writing Practice Category with No Comments on IELTS Essay on Traffic Jam Complete Feedback, 69 Views and Reading Time: 4 minutes

IELTS essay on traffic jam with full essay submitted to us by our students with complete feedback and scoring. Send your IELTS essays to us for thorough analysis and get ready for the actual IELTS exam.

IELTS essay question on traffic jam

To solve the issue of traffic congestion in large cities, more modern methods of public transport, such as sky trains, should be utilized.

What would be the pros and cons of these types of public transport in large cities?

IELTS essay on traffic jam

One of the most disquieting and major issues in today’s life is traffic congestion especially in large cities and metropolises. Modern and innovative solutions have been proposed by specialists and one of them is utilizing the newest type of public transportation: sky trains.

  1. You have not mentioned that using sky trains comes with advantages and disadvantages in your first paragraph.

Like all the other forms of public transportations, sky trains have also benefits and harms. One of the advantages is that they decrease the usage of private vehicles which causes less traffic congestion, and also they are built in the air above the ground. Thus they leave enough space for public transportations on the ground and eventually it reduces traffic congestion.

  1. public transportation / public transport (uncountable)
  2. …, sky trains, too, have advantages and disadvantages (highly recommended because of your previous clause: Like all the other…)
  3. …, and also they are built –> the whole sentence is rather too long and complex. It’s better to use shorter sentences and connect them with conjunctions. For example, furthermore, additionally, in addition, etc.

One the other hand, there are a few obstacles and disadvantages. One of them is budget, to hire qualified engineers and high qualified and standard materials costs lots of money. And another issue is safety. Sky trains are considered as extremely dangerous form of conveyance. Lots of things should be measured and considered to insure commutes safety.

  1. on the other hand
  2. … budget. As a matter of fact / in fact, etc., to hire …
  3. highly qualified / high-quality
  4. considered / considered to be
  5. an extremely dangerous form of
  6. Lots of things (too informal) = A variety of factors
  7. ensure
  8. commuters’ safety

Synoptically, while sky trains are seemed to be profitable solution, they have not yet been popular and known to the world and there are lots of things to deliberate before it is applicable all around the world.

  1. a profitable solution
  2. deliberate on / about / over

Analysis and scoring

  • Analysis
    • You’re using more formal and advanced vocabulary, which is great!
  • Cohesion and coherence: 17 of 25%
  • Grammatical range and accuracy: 18 of 25%
  • Lexical resources: 22 of 25%
  • Task achievement: 20 of 25%
  • Spelling: OK
  • Punctuation: Fair
  • Word count: “198” You should write at least 250 words.
  • Time on Essay Writing: 40 minutes = Excellent
  • Band score: 6.5 of 9

About Dr. Mohammad Hossein Hariri Asl

Dr. Mohammad Hossein Hariri Asl is an English and Persian instructor, researcher, inventor, author, blogger, SEO expert, website developer, and the creator of LELB Society. He's got a PhD in TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language). Study our guest posting guidelines for authors.

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