An IELTS essay on social media with essay question and full essay model. This essay is thoroughly analyzed and scored. This essay has been submitted to us by our members.
IELTS question on social media
Some people believe that social media these days are doing more harm than good, especially by causing internet addiction among teenagers and young generation. Some others think that life without social media is almost impossible.
What is your point of view about social media? Provide reasons to support your claim.
Essay on social media
Many people nowadays use social media. They use social media to communicate with their friends and other people and even organizations and also making new friends. They also use it to surf in internet and other social media searching new information, and share their opinion , photos, music, and any material of their interest.
- They use social media (redundant). Merge these 2 sentences into one sentence.
- Use commas instead of using several “and”s.
- And make new friends (parallelism)
- Surf the internet
- opinions,
- searching new information and sharING should be parallel.
- and any other material(s)
By using social media you could even take part in a new classes or join a new groups, find a new teacher on any subject you want or visiting or taking an imaginary tour to different places like famous monuments and museums through the internet.
- new classes
- OR should be replaced with a comma.
- join new groups
- visit or take (the same structure: parallelism)
- on the internet
You can find a new group of your interest and communicate with them, leaving text or voice massages or even call them through different gadgets on social media.
- calling
At the same time like any other new object the social media could be used for bad purposes and even worse some people especially youth may become addict to them and spend too much time browsing in the internet and social media, so little by little they lose their concentration on their works or schools and waste their time on useless materials.
- social media
- You need to use more punctuation marks.
- the youth / the youth of today
- addicted
- browsing the internet
- work
- schoolwork
Even worse the social media may be used by criminal groups and terrorists for their wicked purposes.
In some part of the world social media even gradually have taken place the role of radio /TV or other news agencies because some people prefer to use them or because news and information might be spread even faster through social media.
- take the place of sb/sth
- might spread
Some society take advantage of social media to expand their economy and create new jobs. Some people use them as a new way of purchasing and selling objects.
- some societies
Some surveys showed that students who spend too much time on social media tend to get lower grades in their exams and have poor performance in their responsibilities.
- show
Another disadvantage of social media is that they might be not secure enough and always there is a possibility of leaking your personal information through them.
- they might not be secure enough
- and there is always a
Another thing I want to add is that some people, groups and even some governments sometimes use social media to spread rumors or false information and by this way change the public opinion.
- in this way
- public opinions
In summary in my opinion the social media and internet have been really revolutionized the life of human being and the benefits of social media are really depend to how someone use them.
- have really revolutionized
- the lives of human beings
- dependent on how …
Analysis and scoring
- Analysis
- You need to use more English conjunctions.
- There are many short paragraphs.
- Your introductory paragraph lacks any clear topic sentence.
- Cohesion and coherence: 12 of 25%
- Grammatical range and accuracy: 12 of 25%
- Lexical resources: 15 of 25%
- Task achievement: 10 of 25%
- Spelling: Good
- Punctuation: Not good
- Word count: “396” Excellent
- Band score: 5 of 9
Related tags and keywords
- communication
- essay
- internet
- internet addiction
- online classes or online education
- social media
- technology
- young generation
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(Social Media)
I myself, find both social media and internet very useful. Not to be addicted to it but I really use them in everyday life like chatting my friends and my family, studying, learning and searching about everything I want and so on.
But we should be very careful of not putting so much time on it. Blink of an eye , and you find yourself surfing in the internet much more you needed and you have wasted so much time.
So social media especially programs such as Instagram, Facebook , Tweeter, Youtube and so on has a really good potential to be addicted to.
Some programs has added a new option to manage the time you are putting on to that specific program.
Like in Instagram you yourself can set a reminder and after that specific amount of time, you will get a reminder, which I’ve found it interesting.
But I also think that social media programs also have lots of both physically and mentally disadvantages.
Looking at the bright screen of your phone or PC for a long time nonstop come along with harms your eyes.
Lots of people use their phone in a bad and harmful position which can hart their necks and backs.
And to mention mental disadvantage of social media_ which is countless and I’m more worried about_ is a long topic to discuss. So I’m going to explain it briefly and instructively as possible.
Great amount of teenagers and young generation are in access of internet and social media, and affected by their friends and engaging surface of Instagram, they’re going to install it as soon as possible.
Then they’re going face with a huge public and private pages of actual people who seem to be in their best look and happiest period of their lives. Everything is really fine to famous bloggers and influencers but not to unsuspecting teenagers.
Their going to think that they are not good enough and their not pretty enough.
More to be amused and entertained ,most of them feel depressed after a while.
So we should be really careful with ourselves , our precious time and our friends.
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Social Media
The pros and Cons
Many people nowadays use social media. They use social media to communicate with their friends and other people and even organizations and also making new friends. They also use it to surf in internet and other social media searching new information, and share their opinion , photos, music, and any material of their interest.
By using social media you could even take part in a new classes or join a new groups, find a new teacher on any subject you want or visiting or taking an imaginary tour to different places like famous monuments and museums through the internet.
You can find a new group of your interest and communicate with them, leaving text or voice massages or even call them through different gadgets on social media.
At the same time like any other new object the social media could be used for bad purposes and even worse some people especially youth may become addict to them and spend too much time browsing in the internet and social media, so little by little they lose their concentration on their works or schools and waste their time on useless materials.
Even worse the social media may be used by criminal groups and terrorists for their wicked purposes.
In some part of the world social media even gradually have taken place the role of radio /TV or other news agencies because some people prefer to use them or because news and information might be spread even faster through social media.
Some society take advantage of social media to expand their economy and create new jobs. Some people use them as a new way of purchasing and selling objects.
Some surveys showed that students who spend too much time on social media tend to get lower grades in their exams and have poor performance in their responsibilities.
Another disadvantage of social media is that they might be not secure enough and always there is a possibility of leaking your personal information through them.
Another thing I want to add is that some people, groups and even some governments sometimes use social media to spread rumors or false information and by this way change the public opinion.
In summary in my opinion the social media and internet have been really revolutionized the life of human being and the benefits of social media are really depend to how someone use them.